Life - Continues
by xXxFangirlForeverxXx
Summary: Part 3 in my Life series. (Part 1; Life - Begins. Part 2; Life - Without you.) Five years after the last attack the titans attack again and once again Valerie Evans life get turned upside down as she comes face to face with the ghost of her past.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again!  
** **So here it is, part 3 of the lifes series. Haven't you read the two first parts I suggest you do so. The first part is Life - Begins, followed by the second part Life - Without you. I do want to preaper you that I haven't gotten time to write to much on this part since I hadn't finished the second part when I started to uplode it. So far I've written three chapters on this part (yeah, I'm ashamed of myself) and of course I my life is full of things to do at the moment so I don't know when I will get time to sit down and write. I'll hope there will only be a few delays with the uploding and not that it will take weeks between chapters. As always I will let you know when there will be a delay and I'll make sure to uplode as soon as possible. Well, that's it for me. I hope you all will enjoy this next part of my story as much as I enjoy to write them.**  
 **Love xXxFangirlForeverxXx**

* * *

I opened my eyes. Slowly they adjusted to the light in the room and at last I found myself lying in a bed, staring up at a ceiling I didn't recognize. I blinked, trying to remember where I was and how I got here. Then suddenly the pictures of the titan, panicked people and being knocked to the ground came flashing in my head. I sat up in the bed, breathing heavily and tears running down my cheeks.

"Valerie." Someone spoke besides me and I turned my head. Caleb was sitting in a chair besides the bed, worry and choke clear on his face.

"Caleb." I whispered. He stood from the chair. "What happened? The titans, they attack again. What…" I silence when he pulled me into a hug.

"Thank god, you're awake." I blinked, surprised over his reaction.

"Caleb, what happened?" I asked, more calmly. He pulled away and sat down on the bedside.

"More importantly, are you alright?" He asked and looked at me.

"Yeah…I'm fine." He breathed out, relived.

"When I found you I was afraid that you…" He silenced, lowering his eyes. I watched him, remembering I blacked out when I hit the ground.

"Ahh ma'am, good to see you finally awake." Both me and Caleb looked towards the door in the room. An older man with greying hair and a white coat came into the room. I realized I was in a hospital. "Doctor James Hollow." He said extending his hand to me. Caleb had stood up from the bed.

"Valerie Evans." I answered him and he nodded in agreement.  
"Very good, you remember you're name. What else do you remember?" He asked and smiled down at me.

"The titans broke through the wall in Trost." The man nodded again. "And I blacked out."

"Yes, that's right. How are you feeling?" He asked me and I could tell he examined me with his eyes.

"I'm fine, a little confused." He nodded again and after a short moment he reached out his hand and touched my head. It was a light touch but enough to make me flinch in pain.

"You hit you're head pretty hard, but you're lucky Private Turner found you before the titans or else a sore head would have been the least of you're problem." He smiled at me but I still felt confused and wanted explanation about what happened. "However I would like you to stay a night for observation, in case. You never know with these kind of damages." He said and turned to Caleb. "Well, I leave you for now. Mrs Evans, Private Turner."

"Thank you doctor!" Caleb said and the man lifted his hand, shaking it as if it was nothing to thank for and then left the room. Caleb breathed out again and looked at me with a small smile. Again he sat down in the chair by the bed and I looked at him, determined to find out what had happened.

"What happened?" The relieved look on his face turned wary and worried. "The titans attacked again?"

"Yeah, they broke through again, but thankfully there were no civilian casualties." He leaned forward in the chair and looked down at the ground, avoiding my eyes. "And we managed to re-take Trost." I looked at him with wide eyes, it sounded unbelievable. I knew for a fact that the survey corps had been on expedition and that left the military police, garrison and trainees to protect and defend the wall. It sounded unlikely that these forces would manage to re-take Trost District. Suddenly I realized something and looked up at Caleb again. "What about Eren and the others?" He froze and didn't say a word. I starred at him with wide eyes. "Caleb." Still he said nothing. "Caleb, what about them?" I raised my voice and he sighed loudly.

"They're alive." He said and I stared at him, relaxing slightly but understood something wasn't right since his behaviour was so strange.

"What is it you're not telling me?" I asked and he looked up at me. "Tell me!"

"Eren has been imprisoned and there's going to be a trial deciding upon his future." I stared wide eyed at him.  
"Im…Imprisoned, why?"

"I'm not allowed to discuss the matter; in fact I wasn't allowed to tell you anything."

"Where is he?" I was about to get out of the bed but Caleb stood and put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me.

"No, you heard the doctor Hollow. You're supposed…"  
"Where is he?"

"You can't keep me out. I'm his legal guardian; I have a right to see him!" The military police soldiers looked at each other, one of them sighing loudly and looking back at me. He was clearly irritated to the limit he started to anger after me putting up a fight and not backing down.

"For the last time…"  
"I'm not leaving until I've seen him." I cut him off. He gritted his teeth and looked up at Caleb standing behind me, it was clear in the soldier's eyes he wasn't happy with him and I guessed Caleb would be punished for telling me.

"Valerie." He said and put his hand on my shoulder; I shrugged out of his hands but turned to look at him.

"I'm not leaving." He looked puzzle and unsure what to do.

"Just…you should rest. You heard…"  
"I'm not kidding Caleb; I'm not leaving until I get to see him." He kept his eyes on mine for a moment before he looked up at the soldiers.

"Can't she get five minutes, just to see that he's alright?"

"You've already broken your orders by telling her and taking her here, and now you ask for five minutes, you must be aim for death penalty, Turner." The other soldiers spoke, clearly knowing who Caleb is.

"I just…"  
"Shut it." The first soldier spoke again, his eyes telling Caleb to back off. The man then turned to me again. "No unauthorized are allowed, no matter what!" This time it was me gritting my teeth as I turned back to the man.

"No one is more authorized to see him than me. I'm his guardian and I have a right by law to see him. So for once in your lives stop being the useless bastards that the military police is known for." This must have been the last straw as the man took a firm grip around my wrist. "Let me go." I instinctively put my hand to his chest and tried to pull away but he only tightened the grip, I gasped in pain. Caleb made a move but the man shot him a glare.

"Step back, Private, you've done enough. Don't think this will go without reporting. " Caleb stepped back and the man turned back to me. "Now listen you insufferable woman, get out of here before I silence that haughty throat of yours forever." I glared back at him and in an instance my hand had made contact with his face. In an instance I was thrown down at the floor, this time avoiding hitting my head by supporting myself with my arms. When I turned back a blade was pointed at me.

"I don't believe even Commander Dok would approve of his soldiers killing innocent women, no matter the circumstances!" My eyes turned to the side where Erwin suddenly stood, holding his hand around the soldiers wrist, stopping the sword from getting closer to me. He was glaring at Erwin, not making a move to pull back but when he turned his head to me his eyes and face expression changed. He looked scared and immediately pulled his sword away and put it back in the scabbard. I felt someone standing behind me and I guessed that was the person he reacted on. I was about to turn my head around to see who it was but Caleb kneeled down besides me.

"Are you alright?" His eyes were wide with worry. I nodded, but the pain in my wrist reminded itself and I looked down at it. I touched it lightly, bruises was already forming around my wrist. Looking up at Caleb again I could tell he was ashamed and disappointed in himself for not standing up more for me. I felt bad for him, I forced him to get me out of the hospital and now I put him in this situation.

"I'm fine, Caleb." I said, smiling at him as he looked up at me. He just nodded and lowered his eyes. My smile faded slightly and I reached out to touch his cheek, to reassure him I was fine but instead someone grabbed my upper arm and pulled me up from the floor. Chocked and surprised I turned my head, about to scold the person for just pulling me up in such a manner. Instead I was left staring wide eyed into a pair of steel grey eyes, a pair I hadn't seen for years.

"Levi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey you guys! Sorry I didn't uplode Thursday last week but I was on a cruise and the internet connection was really bad. I've also decided to just uplode once a week instead of twice a week since I don't have to many chapters ready. So that's just a little about what's going on. Here is the next chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

For just a small moment something in the steel grey eyes reacted to the bare whisper of his name. A split second and then it was gone. Enough for me to see however and I could tell he knew in the way he intensified the hardness in his eyes, covering it up. His touch around my arm lightened and I felt my body shiver as his fingers slowly pulled away, lightly sliding over my skin. Then he walked pass me towards Erwin. I however stood frozen on the spot just staring out into nothing as if I'd seen a ghost. Someone put a hand on my shoulder and I could faintly hear my name being called. Blinking a few times at last I turned my head to Caleb who know stood up besides me, he flinched when I looked at him.

"We should get you back to the hospital." I blinked again, recalling the events up until a few moments ago. I slowly shook my head.

"No, Eren." He sighed but I ignored him and turned around. Automatically my eyes turned towards Levi who watched me and Caleb with hard eyes. I blinked, redirecting my eyes to Erwin and focused on the important matter here.

"Commander Smith." I said, I could see in the corner of my eyes that Caleb looked at me with surprised eyes. Sure he knew I got connection to the survey corps but I'd never told him I personally knew the Commander of it. "I want to know exactly what is going on, no details spared. I trust that at least the Survey Corps got some sense for honesty and reason, unlike them." I turned my head to the two military police soldiers, glaring at them for a moment before I turned my eyes back to Erwin. He watched me for a moment before he looked down at Levi standing besides him. Looking back at me a pleased smile was hinted on his lips.

"Of course, Mrs Evans!" He answered me and I exhaled in relief. "I've have something to attend to first, but I'll have you escorted to my office immediately." He looked behind me and suddenly Private Johnson stood besides me. "Escort Mrs Evans to the headquarters and my office." The man besides me nodded. Then Erwin looked at me. "Please, patiently wait for my return in my office."

"Thank you, Erwin." I said with a nod and smiled. He nodded as well and turned to make his leave, Levi lingered for a short moment before he followed after. I watched them, or rather him disappear. I'd wished too see him again for so long and now it all just felt strange. He looked the same but he had a strange feel around him. Of course I hadn't expected it to be like before but I couldn't quite put my finger on it and it made me uneasy. I sighed and looked down at the floor.

"Valerie." I looked up at Caleb. He had such a mixture off emotions on his face and I didn't know how to respond knowing it was my fault. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out, what could I say?

"Mrs Evans, are you coming?" Private Johnson spoke and I turned my head towards him.  
"Ehum, yeah of course." I turned back to Caleb and gave him a weak smile.

"Thank you!" Was all I could come up with and then I turned, following Private Johnson out of the courthouse to an awaiting carriage.

Still feeling confused with so many unanswered questions in my head and a light dizziness in my head made me just sit in silence the whole ride to the survey corps headquarters. My eyes focused on my hands resting in my lap. I didn't even bother to be polite and ask Private Johnson how he'd been since last we'd seen each other. After what felt like forever the carriage came to a stop and Johnson helped me out of the carriage. I looked around my surroundings, remembering the last time I'd been here five years ago. It still looked the same in my eyes.

"Mrs Evans." Johnson brought me out of my thoughts and I looked at him. "I was instructed to walk you to Commanders Smiths office." His usual strict and formal voice was now careful and soft; I guessed he sensed my suppressed state. I nodded and after hesitating a moment he started walking and I followed in silence, my head lowered and my mind filled with thoughts, none of which I could grab on to and hold still. It all just swirled around in my head. I still felt dizzy and a bit tired as well. "We're here." I looked up at the private as he stood by an open door. I walked inside, looking around it. "Would you like something while you're waiting?" I looked towards the door, the usually so proud and confident man now looked wary and unsure.

"No, I'm fine." I said and he nodded.

"I'm leaving then." I gave him a small nod and a weak smile before I looked away. I heard the door close after a moment, guessing he hesitated about leaving. I was left just standing in the middle of the room until it opened again, not knowing how long I'd been standing there.

"Ms Evans." I turned my head at Erwins voice. He entered the office, followed by Levi to my surprise. Somehow I believe he would try to keep as far away from me as possible. I watched him for a moment until Erwin placed his hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him.

"Please, sit down." He said and gestured towards the chair opposite his by the desk. "You must be exhausted considering everything." I looked at the chair for a moment, thinking about it know I felt like I would pass out again.

Sitting down on the chair I looked over at Erwin whom had sat down in his own, Levi leaning against the wall behind him.

"First off I want to make clear that we haven't been granted permission to see Eren yet either, we're working on it and hopefully we will get permission him soon." Erwin spoke immediately and I nodded. "Now, how much have you been told?"

"Only that he was imprisoned by the military police after the success to reclaim Trost district."

"I see." Erwin said and leaned forward in his chair and then he went on telling me what he knew had happened with Eren in the Trost District during the attack. When he was finished I just stared at him and Levi.  
"Eren…turned into a titan!" I said, not really believing it. Erwin cast a glance at Levi before he spoke again.

"I take it you knew nothing about his ability to shift."

"No. I…I don't think he knew it himself." This earned me a lifted eyebrow.

"What makes you say that?" I lowered my eyes.

"His mother…she was got caught under a heavy beam when their house collapsed in the attack on Shiganshina. We couldn't get it off her and then a titan closed in and…" The pictures flashed in my head form that day and I silenced. I looked up after a moment. "He would never have left her there if he had known he had that kind of power." I was lost in my thoughts and didn't realize the tears running down my cheek until a handkerchief was put in front of my face. Looking up to the side Levi stood besides me. I hesitated but reached out and took it. "Thank you!" I gave him a weak smile, our eyes connected until the sound of Erwin's chair being pushed backwards sounded the room. I turned my eyes and looked at him.

"I'll arrange a room for you stay in, and a doctor to come take a look on you in the morning." I looked at him in surprise. "The military police soldier that was with you informed me about your state." I smiled and nodded. "Wait here until someone comes to escort you." He moved towards the door, followed by Levi. I glanced over my shoulder and watched them leave. It didn't take long before Private Johnson showed up again and escorted me to a bedroom much like the one I'd stayed in when I'd first been brought to the surface and the survey corps headquarter. Even though I had so many thoughts and questions in my head still it didn't take long for my exhausted body and mind to fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Let me go." The loud voice rang thru the hall of the courthouse and Levis whole body reacted to it, he would recognize that voice anywhere and knew by instinct that it belonged to Valerie. Turning his head he saw her trying to push herself away from the grip of the military police soldier. Before he knew it he was moving towards the scene, steps fast and determined.

"Now listen you insufferable woman, get out of here before I silence that haughty throat of yours forever." The loud sound of her hand making impact with the soldiers face echoed thru the building. A feeling of pride struck him for a moment but suddenly someone put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from getting closer and as the hand left his shoulder Erwin walked past him as the soldier threw Valerie on the ground and pulled out his sword. The blade was pointed at her but Erwin had put his hand around the soldier wrist, stopping the blade from getting closer.

"I don't believe even Commander Dok would approve of his soldiers killing innocent women, no matter the circumstances!" He said and the soldier glared at him, not making a move to pull away the sword. Then he turned his head forward again and his face expression changed and he pulled away his sword immediately.

"Are you alright?" He looked down. Another man, dressed in military police clothes as well, was kneeling on the ground with a worried face expression. At the sight of them that strange feeling of anger and irritation he only felt when other men cared for her like that build up in his body, he pushed it away the best he could. Valerie looked down at her wrist which was already bruised. Levis eyes darted up to the soldier who'd done but as Valerie spoke, still unaware of him being there he looked down at her again.

"I'm fine, Caleb." She smiled at him and even though it was hollow Levi felt it harder to push away the feeling and when she reached out her hand to touch the man it broke for him. He reached out, grabbed her upper arm and pulled her up from the floor. She got surprised and turned her head, a scowl on her face which faded the moment her forest green eyes meet his.  
"Levi." And just like that, the bare whisper of his name was enough to erase the strange feeling, calming him like nothing else did. She saw it and he steeled himself, covering it up. Slowly he let go of her arm, his fingers sliding over her skin and he could feel her shiver at it. For a moment he wanted to smile but reminded himself that he was suppose to stay out of her life and this was the clear opposite of doing so. It would only cause her more pain. And so he let her go and walked past her, over to Erwin who watched him with curious eyes. Levi knew he was trying to read him. It had always interested Erwin it was the influence Valerie had on him and his life.

"Valerie." Levi cast a glance at the man. He spoke her name with such worry but she didn't respond, she just stood starring out into nothing. Not until the man put his hand on her shoulder did she react after a moment by looking up at him. Levi couldn't properly see her face since her hair was shielding it from his view but the man flinched. "We should get you back to the hospital." She shook her head after a moment.

"No, Eren." Turning around her eyes landed on him but she soon redirected them to Erwin with a determined expression on her face.

"Commander Smith. I want to know exactly what is going on, no details spared. I trust that at least the Survey Corps got some sense for honesty and reason, unlike them." She glared at the two other military police soldiers for a moment. Erwin watched her for a moment longer before he looked down at Levi, it was part of the deal between the two; every decision concerning Valerie he would have a say in. By not responding Erwin took it as a silent agreement and so he turned back to her.

"Of course, Mrs Evans! I've have something to attend to first, but I'll have you escorted to my office immediately." Soon Private Johnson stood besides her and Erwin instructed him to escort Valerie to the headquarters before he kindly asked her to wait there for him.

"Thank you, Erwin." She smiled, again it was hollow. Erwin turned to leave but Levi lingered, watching her before he turned to leave for the meeting with the other commanders.

"Commander Smith." Standing up from the stairs outside the courthouse was the same man that been with Valerie earlier. He looked wary.

"Yes?" Erwin asked. The man watched the two of them for a moment before relaxing slightly. It was no secret that the military polices and the survey corps didn't relay fully on each other and that a clear dislike was between the two fractions.

"Valerie, she hit her head and passed out when the titans attacked Trost. She's been passed out for a day and just woke up today. The doctor wanted her to rest until tomorrow, but…" He silenced, lowering his eyes.

"You told her." Levi spoke and he looked up at him. The younger man flinched slightly as he meet his glaring eyes.

"Yes, I should have known better." He answered after a moment of silence. Levi tsked in irritation. Erwin put his hand on his shoulder and looked down at him, his eyes telling him to calm down.

"Thank you for informing us, Private! I will be sure to have someone cheek up on her." Erwin gave one of his usual neutral smiles.

"Thank you Commander." The man said and bowed his head. Erwin continued towards the carriages but again Levi lingered, watching the man in front of him.

"Levi." Erwin called out and at last he walked after his commander to the awaiting carriage.

"You're bothered!" Erwins voice brought him back to the real world and out of his head. He looked at the man sitting opposite to him, tsked and looked out thru the window. "She's a handful!"

"She's stubborn!" He mumbled silently after a moment of silence. Erwin smiled. "Putting herself in danger because of some brat."

"He's not anyone." Levi turned his head to look at Erwin for a moment before he looked back out the window. He didn't get it. He pushed her away so she could get a calm and good life, away from him, and somehow she still ended up in the middle of it all. He sighed. "She'll be fine!" Or else that military swine would be in trouble Levi thought to himself but only grunted as a response to Erwin. Soon they were back at the headquarters and standing in the middle of the office was Valerie. Levi watched her carefully, had she been standing there since she arrived? She watched him as well with surprise in her eyes. Erwin placed his hand on her shoulder and she moved her eyes to him. "Please, sit down. You must be exhausted considering everything." She watched the chair for a moment and suddenly looked very tired. Erwin sat down in his chair opposite and Levi moved to lean against the wall behind him. Then Erwin went into tell her about what had happened. Her eyes grew wider for everything she heard and he could see them filled with worry and fear as well as surprise and chock. She was staring straight out at the two of them when Erwin was finished speaking.

"Eren…turned into a titan!"

"I take it you knew nothing about his ability to shift."

"No. I…I don't think he knew it himself." She sounded so sure about it.

"What makes you say that?" She lowered her eyes.

"His mother…she was got caught under a heavy beam when their house collapsed in the attack on Shiganshina. We couldn't get it off her and then a titan closed in and…" She silenced and he cursed himself for putting her thru that hell. Erwin waited her, knowing she needed to collect her thoughts. At last she looked up; sadness visible in her eyes and tears running down her cheek. "He would never have left her there if he had known he had that kind of power." Silently sighing Levi moved from his spot, rounding the desk to where she sat and held out a handkerchief. She looked up at him, for a moment she hesitated but at last reached out to take it. "Thank you!" She smiled, a weak but genuine smile not as hollow as the smile she'd had given earlier. They held eye contact until the sound of Erwin's chair being pushed backwards made the two look at him.

"I'll arrange a room for you stay in, and a doctor to come take a look on you in the morning."

At her surprised reaction Erwin smiled. "The military police soldier that was with you informed me about your state. Wait here until someone comes to escort you." Erwin moved towards the door and Levi followed but he could feel Valerie's eyes watching them leave.


	4. Chapter 4

I had hardly gotten out of the bed the next day before there was a knock on the door.  
"Just a moment." I called, as I tucked the white blouse under my skirt and put on my waist belt. When I was done I walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hello Valerie!" It took a moment for me to recognize the wide smiling person outside.

"Ha..Hange?" It been five years since I'd seen the woman but she still looked the same.

"Erwin wanted me to cheek up on you. I heard you hit your head in the attack!" I blinked and watched her. I remember her being a scientist researching on titans, but I knew nothing about her medical knowledge when it came to humans. However I felt good so maybe it didn't matter. I nodded at the woman and stepped aside.

"Come in!" I said and she entered. I closed the door and then turned to her.

"Soo…I heard that you've been thru quite the adventure since last!" I lifted an eyebrow in confusion. Leaning against the desk in the room, she watched me with crossed arms. "Adapting to the surface life, the attack on Shiganshina and taking on three children, one of them happening to be able to shift to a titan, and now the attack on Troast."  
"Ohh, yes it's happened…much!" I said and lowered my eyes slightly. I could feel Hange watch me.

"Yeah, Levis been out of it." My eyes moved up at her. She had a disobedient gleam in her brown eyes as she smiled even wider at me. "Let's just say it's not just his height that has been short." With other circumstances I would have laughed at her words but I was too surprised to hear it that I could only stare at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. Her smile softened. "Well, let's take a look at you then!" She said and moved over to me, pushing me to sit down to examine me. Her intensity made it hard to focus on what she'd been telling me and I had to concentrate at her questions over my doing the last couple of hours since I woke up. At last she stood in front of me, her arms crossed and nodding to herself as if she was having a discussion in her head with herself, which wouldn't surprise me. "I would advice you to rest and not overwork yourself, you never know with these kinds of injuries but you seem fine at the moment." She said at last and put her hands on her hips instead with a wide smile again. I nodded to myself but soon looked up at her.  
"Could I ask you a favour?" She seemed surprised but curious and eager to know what I wanted.

"Of course!"

"Just tell Erwin, and Levi, that I'm fine and there's nothing to worry about. There's something I really need to do and if they find out I need to rest…they'll never let me!" She watched me for a long moment with wide eyes until she shined up.

"Aren't you a brave little one?" She said, patting my head lightly. She straightened up. "I could get in trouble for this, but…I like you!" I smiled at the woman in front of me.

"Thank you, Hange!"

Together we walked to Erwins office and she asked me all about my life after I left the survey corps headquarters five years ago. In return she told me about how Levi had been doing in the corps and how he'd soon become humanities strongest. I knew about this nickname, mostly because of Eren, and hadn't been too surprised about it. Knowing what strength he had in the underground, training and serving the military must have made him even stronger if possible. Hange knocked on Erwins office door when we arrived and he told us to enter, looking up from the paper work on his desk as we came in.

"Good morning Ms Evans!" He said politely. "Have you slept well?"

"Enough at the moment!" I answered and gave him a small smile. He nodded and then looked at Hange who didn't need a question to know what was asked of her.

"She seems fine too me!" Erwin watched her for a moment and then nodded.

"Good too hear." He answered and looked at me. "Now tell me what's on your mind Ms Evans!" I wasn't surprised he could tell, I knew from these years that he was observant.

"I want to go to the training grounds, to see Mikasa and Armin. And as I understand it I still got custody over the two of them and therefore have the right to see them." I said and walked closer to his desk. "And I will go, with or without your help!" cast a glance at Hange for a moment and then back at me with a delighted smile on his lips.

"I can't deny you to see them and I rather give you my help then let you go there on your own. I'll have a carriage ready and someone to escort you." He answered me and I breathed out, a smile forming on my lips as I did.

An hour later there was a knock on my door and I went to open it understanding it must be my escort. Outside a woman around my age stood. The first I noted was her timid but kind smile as she greeted me.  
"Good day ma'am! My name's Petra Ral, I've been order by Commander Smith to escort you to the training grounds." She seemed like a sweet and kind woman and I found myself wondering how such a gentle person had ended up in the survey corps. I smiled back at her.

"Valerie Evans, and you can call me Valerie." I told her and she blushed slightly but nodded.

"Should we go then?" She asked and I reached for my cloak before we left. The ride to the training ground was quite expect from Petra asking me a little about my connection to Erwin and the survey corps as well as Eren, Mikasa and Armin. I simply told her Erwin was a good friend of my late husband and that he'd kept in touch with me over the years. It was easier that way I thought and lucky enough she accepted it without questioning me further about my made up husband. I had then told her about how I ended up getting the custody of Eren and the others. Once again I had to question myself why such a gentle and kind woman would join the survey corps, but I guessed she had her reasons and at the moment I had too much to think about to ask her about it. When we arrived Petra found someone responsible for the trainees. I watched at a distance as she spoke to a man. She handed him an envelope and after reading the paper inside he looked up, looking at me and then at Petra. He looked unsure but I guessed the letter was from Erwin and that the man felt he couldn't refuse the order of a Commander. At last he sighed, nodding as he spoke. Petra turned to me and motioned me to come. We were taken to a room and told to wait as he would go and get Mikasa and Armin. It didn't take to long and as soon they entered the room I threw myself at the two.  
"Are you alright?" I asked and looked them up and down. They seemed fine but the looks on their faces told me they weren't.

"Have you heard anything?" Armin asked and I lowered my eyes as I shook my head.

"I'm staying at the survey corps headquarters at the moment. Erw…Commander Smith is trying to get to see Eren but so far he hasn't gotten to." The two looked at each other and then back at me. We sat down and I asked them about what had happened in Trost. Armin mostly told me what happened since he'd been with Eren. When he told me Eren been eaten by a titan I just watched him with wide eyes. Mikasa then told me Eren had saved her from a titan while being in his titan form. When they were finished I just watched them, just like I'd done when Erwin told me what he knew about Eren the evening before. My head had also started to spin slightly and I could feel a faint dizziness.

"Well, I'm glad you two are safe and sound at least." I said and smiled at them. "I just hope Eren is doing alright." I lowered my eyes slightly. I couldn't wrap my head around all of this; it was too unbelievable to understand.

"It's good to know you made it out of Trost as well." I looked up at Armin who'd spoken. I wasn't sure if I should tell them what happened to me. They had to much to think about and worrying about me was the last I wanted them to do.

"Yes." I simply said and nodded but suddenly the dizziness got stronger and I had to close my eyes for a moment, putting a hand on my forehead as I tried to collect myself.

"Valerie, are you alright?" I could hear Armin speak with worry in his voice. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again, my sight was slightly blurry but I could tell the two looked worried. I smiled at them.

"I'm just fine." I said but I could hear my voice betraying me as it sounded weak. I hand was put on my shoulder from behind and I looked up to my side. Petra was looking down at me with worried eyes.

"It's time to go back." She said; her voice definite. I was about to protest but she must have understand this and spoke before me. "I'm sorry but Commander Smiths was particular strict with the orders about taking you back to the headquarters in case you didn't feel well!" I watched her and understood Erwin knew I wasn't as fine as Hange had said. Petra let go of my shoulder. I sighed and looked at Mikasa and Armin.

"Don't worry. Everything is going to be alright." I said and pulled the two into a hug. "I'll make sure he'll get out of there and back to us, no matte what!" I whispered to the two and I could feel them nod in the hug. Letting go of them I smiled at them and then stood but felt my body sway a little, Petra came over to me and helped me steady. Maybe I wasn't as fine as I thought myself to be either.

Petra helped me out to the carriage and the whole way back was just a dizzy and blurry ride, the bumpy rode didn't help either. Back at the headquarters I felt even more exhausted then the day before. Petra watched me with a worried expression on her face as the carriage came to a halt. She stood and opened the door, walking out of the carriage.  
"Here, I help you!" She said and reached out her hand, standing outside. I smiled at her but felt irritated of my own disability at the moment. I was about to take her hand when a voice from outside called out and Petra who turned, withdrew her hand.

"Captain Levi!" Petra said and I sighed loudly, how unlucky could I be? The only person I didn't want to find me at the moment had of course to be the first.

"Where is she?" He asked as he came closer. I could see Petra turn her head to me and something in her eyes looked confused.

"I'm here!" I said, still sitting in the carriage. It only took a short moment and then he stood in the opening to the carriage. I tried to look as if there was nothing wrong with me. "What is it?" He watched me with narrowed eyes and then turned to Petra.

"What happened?" His voice was sharp and hard. Petras eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"She-e didn't feel well so I took her back as Commander Smith order me." I sighed, feeling my irritation grow.

"I'm fine!" I said as I stood up but had to support myself on the side of the door opening. "I'm just a little tired!" I could feel my legs shaking as I stepped out, causing me to stumble forward but was caught by Levi, an arm around my waist and my hands pressed to his chest. It was strange, even though it been so long it felt like it was just the other day he'd been holding me like this. I could feel a warm feeling spread in my body and couldn't help but to smile a little.

"Just a little tired?" He questioned after a short moment and I looked up at him, hiding my smile. I could tell he wasn't happy with me. Still holding on to me he turned back to Petra.

"You should have inquiry me before following Erwins order!" I looked at Petra who watched us with wide eyes. She still looked confused but deep in her amber eyes I saw pain. I turned back to Levi, pushing myself away a little.

"It's not her fault! I knew I wasn't well but I wanted, I needed to go and I would have even if I hadn't got the escort." Levi watched me for a moment before he sighed; I felt his body relax slightly. Again he turned back to Petra.

"Get back to your original duties!" He ordered and she nodded. I looked at her and smiled.  
"Thank you for helping me, Petra!" She gave me a hesitating and forced smile before she turned and left in a haste. I watched her leave, feeling a bit sad for her. The pain I'd seen her eyes was one I'd seen in my own eyes; the pain from the heart breaking.

"You should rest." Levis voice made me look up at him.

"I know, but how can I at a time like this?" I sighed and lowered my eyes as I felt tears build in them. "I know I'm asking too much of you but please, get him out of there Levi." I looked up at him. "Whatever it takes, just…get him out of there!"


	5. Chapter 5

After pleading to Levi to get Eren out of the court prison I had been forced to rest. Erwin had told me to step back and let him handle everything and emphasized that it wouldn't do Eren any go to hear that I've worn myself out because of my worry over him. I could see the point in his reason and did as he asked of me; with the condition I would be updated. It had now gone three days since the attack on Trost District and it seemed like Erwin finally had gotten clearance to see Eren. I'd wanted to beg to come with him and Levi but I knew what the answer would be and patiently waited at the headquarters for their return. Sitting in my room only made me more impatient so I decided to take a stroll around the headquarters enclosure. I soon found myself around the stable. Walking into it one of the horses stuck out its head from its box. I carefully put my hand on the nasal bridge, stroking it gently.

"She likes it." Someone spoke from the side and I turned my head to see Petra standing in the gangway with a broom in her hands. She watched me with uncertainty.

"What's her name?" I asked and looked at the horse again.

"Gina." I nodded and smiled as the horse made an approving sound. There was some silent between us before Petra spoke again. "I heard Commander Smith got approval to see..."

"Eren." I filled in hearing she wasn't sure about the name. I looked back at her. "And yes, he did. Hopefully he will get him out of there soon too." I said, breathing out loudly. "Can I help you with the cleaning?" I asked and she looked at me with a lifted eyebrow. "I'm getting quite restless just sitting in my room waiting for something to happen. I'm used to taking care of a household and work, so…where can I find a broom?" A small smile formed on Petra's face.

"I'll show you." She said and we walked in silence to a small room with cleaning supplies. I took out a broom and was soon helping Petra sweep the stone floors of the stable. After a while of silent cleaning and Petra glancing over at me with a thoughtful expression from time to time it seemed like she'd gathered the courage to talk to me. "I was surprised the other day, you and Captain Levi seemed to know each other well?" She'd stopped sweeping and looked at me, trying to sound like she wasn't too interested and curious about it but I could clearly hear what she was after. I continued sweeping like it was nothing.

"Yes." I simply said and cast a glance at her; she lowered her eyes and looked sad. I smiled slightly, her feelings was so obvious it was painful. "My husband and Levi knew each other and I had the pleasure to meet him a few times."

"Ohh, of course." The smile on her faces was full of warmth and love making her brown eyes shine. I looked at her, feeling a mix of happiness that Levi had someone who cared for him like this but also a sting jealousy because she'd been by his side these years I hadn't. I looked down at the floor for a moment, sighing to myself. "I'm sorry!" I looked up at Petra again with a confused face expression. "For reminding you of your husband. It…must be painful!" I watched her for a moment, before I gave her a weak smile.

"It's alright. It was a long time ago." I continued sweeping the floor but I could tell Petra was still watching me. Glancing at her I could see the unsure expression on her face. "Petra, don't worry. I'm fine." Slowly she smiled at me before I looked down at the floor again and continued with the sweeping again. I could hear her continue sweeping the floor again and we were back to the silent cleaning.

Petra thanked me when we where done with the cleaning and I headed back towards the main building after that as she had some other duties to attend to. As I slowly walked over the courtyard I looked up at the blue sky, the sun about to seat, and saw two birds sore freely in the air. I stopped and admired the birds, smiling as I heard them chirp as if everything was fine. Footsteps behind me made me turn after a moment and I slightly surprised to see Erwin and Levi walking towards me.

"Ms Evans." Erwin greeted me kindly with a smile.

"How did it go?" I asked immediately, impatient to know what had happened. Erwin kept his neutral smile on his face as he turned to look down at Levi and then back at me.

"I would suggest discussing it in my office." I nodded and followed after them. Levi watched me as he passed me, irritation clear in his eyes.

"I'm fine. Just restless and I've done nothing wrong so stop glaring at me like I have." He tsked, annoyed I read him and turned away his head looking straight forward again. I could see Erwin cast a glance at me with an amused face expression. A small walk later we where at Erwin's office and I'd sat down in the same chair I'd been sitting in the first evening I came here. Levi had sat down on the couch at the side of the room and Erwin of course in the chair opposite me, at the other side of the desk.

"Eren is fine." I breathed out in relief and smiled, happy to hear he at least was fine. "And he has declared that he wants to join the survey corps and naturally his titan powers would be an advantage for humanities victory." This sounded like when he told me to about Farlan and Isabels deaths. I felt the urge to tell him that Eren wasn't a pawn to play around with but I held back this time considering that Erwin been there for me and done as I asked when I needed. "Levi will be taking responsibility for him if we get the custody." I turned my head and looked at Levi for a moment, he watched me with a blank expression on his face and his arms crossed.

"Why?" I asked turning back to Erwin who watched me with a smile on his face. He cast a glance at Levi, I'd come to understand during my stay here that this was a way for Erwin to get Levis permission considering decisions concerning me. After a small moment Erwin's blue eyes looked back at me.

"It's the natural choice. Levi is one of the survey corps most outstanding soldiers and that will favour Eren in his training." I watched him, feeling suspicious since something in his voice didn't sound right.

"I've not been in exile. I know what people calls him, humanities strongest! But that don't really answer it now does it. I'm sure there are plenty of people capable of training Eren." I turned my head to Levi as I continued speaking. "And I know for a fact humanities strongest has better things to do than babysit a stubborn and hot headed teenage boy."

"Clear-minded as ever, Ms Evans, but this once you've got to trust me." I looked back at Erwin, watching him for a moment.

"Fine." I simply answered. "Then when will he get out of the prison?"

"We don't know." I sighed. "I'll keep you informed, Ms Evans." I nodded and stood up from the chair, stroking my forehead since I felt a small headache pound inside of my head and I could tell Levi was watching me.

"Thank you Erwin." I said and walked out of the office and headed towards my room. Sitting down in my room I sighed again, still I was happy to hear Eren was fine after all. The next day Erwin had gotten news that there would be a trial held about the custody of Eren since the military police wanted their hands on Eren as well. I begged him to make sure that I would get to come to the trial and he told me he would make sure of it. The few days that passed up until Erens trial felt like they were never going to end and my worry only increased for everyday that passed.


	6. Chapter 6

I watched the large building in front of me, my eyes taking in every single detail of the military courthouse. The movement and sounds of people moving around me was gone to me and all I could focus on was the building. This until I felt a presence besides me and turned my head and meet Levis eyes. The eye contact lasted for a short moment but it was enough for me as I felt myself calm down, my racing heart slowing a little and my nervous breathing even out.  
"Should we go?" Private Johnson, who'd been assigned to keep me company, asked me a moment after Levi had followed after Erwin towards the building. I looked at the man now standing besides me and nodded. We walked into the building which was as impressive on the inside as on the outside. Johnson walked me into the court room and we took a stand in the middle of the room. I was looking around the room; there were lots of people in it. "It's going to be alright." I looked up at Johnson, surprised his voice was so calm and reassuring. He usually was so strict in his way and ever since he escorted me to the survey corps headquarters a couple of days ago he'd been a little softer to me. I smiled at him.

"Thank you, Adam!" I said and he blinked at the mention of his first name. I turned my head back to the front of the room watching as Erwin and the others took place at the left side of the room and the military police at the other side. It didn't take long until the doors to the room opened and I turned my head as Eren was pushed into the room by two military police soldiers. I inhaled as I saw him. He was looking up at the ceiling until one of the soldiers put his rifle to his back and pushing him forward. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my loud inhaling. They walked to a pole standing in the room and Eren kneeled down as they locked him to the place. I had to stretch up a little to see him clearly and I saw him turning his head to the side and react. Looking at the same direction I could see Mikasa and Armin standing there but as a door opened at the front I turned my head straight forward again. Sitting down in front of everyone was an older grey haired man with glasses.

"Commander Darius Zackly." Adam said and I looked up at him. "He's the head of all three military divisons."

"Well then, let us begin." The man said and I turned my head back to him. "Eren Yeager, yes? You are a soldier, sworn to sacrifice your life for the public good. Is that correct?"  
"Yes, sir!" I heard Eren answer. I was thankful that he sounded so calm, knowing how he could be.

"This is an exceptional situation. This tribunal will be held under military, not civilian, law. The final decision rests entirely in my hands. Your fate will be decided here. Do you have any objections?"  
"No, sir!"

"I appreciate your perception. I will be direct. As anticipated, concealing your existence has proved impossible. We must make your existence public in some form, or a threat to humanity other than titans may arise. What I will decide today is which force will have custody of you. The military police? Or the survey corps? Then, I ask the military police for their proposal." I turned my head to the side where the military police stood.

"Yes, sir!" My eyes soon found the man speaking in the crowd of military police soldiers. " I, commander of the military police Nile Dok, will present my proposal. After thorough investigation of Eren's body we believe he should be eliminated immediately." My eyes widened at the words and I felt my body starting to tremble as tears formed in my eyes. "It's certainly true that his titan power overcame our previous peril. However, now his existence threatens to spark a civil war. So we ask him to die for humanity's sake, leaving behind all the information he can." I couldn't believe the words coming out of the man's mouth. I didn't have much time to dwell as someone standing besides the military police commander spoke.  
"There is no need for that! He is an invasive pest! He has deceived the walls that embody God's wisdom! He must be killed at once!" I watched the man and recognized the clothing he was wearing and understood he was a member of the Church of the walls, a religious group that worshiped the walls.

"Priest Nick! Order, please." Commander Zackly spoke and I redirected my eyes to him as he continued speaking. "We'll hear the survey corps's proposal next.

"Yes, sir!" Erwin spoke and I turned to him, impatient to hear how he would gain the custody over Eren. "I, 13th commander of the survey corps Erwin Smith, will present my proposal. We would welcome Eren as an official member of our forces and use his power to retake Wall Maria. That is all!" With an open mouth and starring eyes I just watched him in disbelief thinking that there would be need of more persuasion than that to gain custody over Eren. Tears started to fill my eyes again as I felt like Eren was slipping out of my hands.

"That's all?" It seemed like Commander Zackly was thinking the same as me.

"Yes, sir! With his power, we can retake Wall Maria. We believe it is clear what our priorities should be."  
"I see. And where do you plan to begin this mission? Pixis, the Trost wall has been completely sealed, correct?"  
"Yes, it can never be opened again." A bald man standing on the same side as the survey corps spoke.

"We would like to set out from Karanes, in the east. From there, we will proceed to Shiganshina. We will determine the route as we go." I lowered my eyes, feeling my hopes sink slightly. Even if Erwin managed to get the custody over Eren, he would use him as a pawn just like with he did when he captured Levi, Farlan and Isabel.

"Wait a minute!" Another man called out and I looked over at him. "Shouldn't we seal all the wall gates once and for all? The colossal titan can only destroy the gates. If we can strengthen them, we needn't endure further attacks!"

"Shut up, merchant dog! With that titan's power we can return to wall Maria!"  
"We can no longer indulge your delusions of grandeur!"

"You talk a lot, pig." Levis voice made me look up again. "Where is your proof that the titans will wait while we seal the gates? The "we" you speak of are only those you wish to protect, your "friends" who help line your pockets. The people who starve because there isn't enough land to sow don't even figure into the thoughts of you pigs."

"We just thought that we could survive by sealing the wall gates…"  
"Silence! Impious traitor! Mere humans altering wall Rose, walls that were a gift from God? Can you truly see those walls, God's work far beyond human capabilities, and not understand? Humanity is not fit to lay a single finger on those walls!" The merchant and the priest continued brawl until Commander Zackly tapped his hand on the wooden desk loudly.

"Silence! You may discuss your personal philosophies and opinions elsewhere. Yeager, I wish to confirm something. Can you continue to serve as a soldier, using your titan powers to benefit humanity?"

"Yes, I can!" He sounded so sure but I myself wasn't. Up until a couple of days ago he didn't even know he could turn into a titan, I was sure of that. I sighed, the determination that boy had where something I've seen in few people but sometimes I feared that would be his undoing.

"But the report on Trost's defence says this…" Commander Zackly took up a paper and read out loud from it. "Immediately after turning into a titan he swung his fist at Mikasa Ackerman." I stood wide eyed and with my mouth opened when I heard this. Mikasa and Armin hadn't told me anything about this when I'd been visiting them. "Is Mikasa Ackerman present?"

"Yes, that's me." I heard Mikasa answer and watched towards where she stood.

"You are Ackerman? Is it true that, as a titan, Yeager attacked you?" Mikasa turned her head so she and Eren had eye contact and she was silent for a moment.  
"Yes, it's true." She answered and people reacted immediately. Again I lowered my eyes slightly as tears formed in them.

"I knew it…He's just another titan."

"But on two previous occasions, Eren saved my life in his titan form. The first time mere seconds before a titan would have had me in his grasp he stood between us, protecting me. The second time he saved Armin and me from an HE shell. I would like these facts to be considered as well." I breathed out, smiling slightly hearing this but my smile soon faded when the military police commander spoke up.

"I object. I believe these comments are greatly colored by her personal feelings. At an early age, Mikasa Ackerman lost her parents and was taken in by the Yeager household. Our investigation has also revealed a surprising fact about the underlying events." My breathing was getting loud. I knew what he was referring to and understood this could be the last straw for Commander Zackly to decide that the custody would be given to the military police. "At age nine, Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman killed three robbers who tried to kidnap her. Even if it was self-defence, I must question their fundamental humanity. Is it right to entrust humanity's fate, resources and lives to him?"

"That's right!"

"He's just a titan that infiltrated us by pretended to be a child!"  
"So is she. Do we even know that she's human?"

"That's right! Just to be safe, we should dissect her!" My breathing was uneven know, the panic and anger in my body just increasing with every word these ignorant people spoke.

"Wait! I may be a monster, but she has nothing to do with it! Nothing at all!" Eren shouted, trying to protect Mikasa and my heartache. I wanted to do something but didn't know what and it made me feel so helpless. What kind of useless guardian was I too these children?

"We can't trust that!"  
"It's true!"  
"If you're covering for her it means she's one of you!"

"NO!" People backed and fear spread as Eren moved, slamming the chains around his wrist against the pole. I stared at Eren, preying that he would calm down. "I mean…you are wrong. But you're simply coming up with theories that fit whatever it suits you to think."  
"What did you say?" The military police commander said, watching Eren with dark eyes.  
"Besides, all of you people. You've never even seen a titan! What are you so afraid of?"

"Just calm down. Don't say anything." I whispered to myself, begging that Eren would somehow hear me. He didn't!  
"What is the point if those with the means and power do not fight? If you're afraid to fight for survival, then help me! You…cowards! Just shut up! And bet everything you have on me!" Silence spread thru the room and I could hear my heart betting fast and loud as I waited what would happen.  
"Weapons ready!"

"Yes, sir!" The man pointed his rifle at Eren and I felt my body move on its own.  
"NO!" I felt some grab my wrist, stopping my movement but I tried to struggle out of it. "Let me..." I silence as my eyes watched Levis foot collide with Erens face and I stared as he continued to beat Eren up in a brutal way, my mouth hanging open in disbelief. I couldn't tear my eyes and I could see blood squirt at the floor. At last Levi put his foot on Erens head, making him take a bowing stand.

"This is a personal opinion. But I believe pain to be the best way to train someone. What you need is to be trained like a dog, not a man. It's easier to kick you while you're kneeling too." With that he continued kicking Eren; I continued starring with wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Wait, Levi…" The commander of the military police suddenly said, starring as well.

"What is it?"  
"That's dangerous! What if he gets angry and turns into titan?" Eren looked up at Levi and as a respond Levi kicked him again.  
"What are you saying?" Leaning forward, he took a hold of Erens dark hair and pulling his face up. "Aren't you going to dissect him? When he turned into a titan last time he killed twenty other titans before collapsing. If he is an enemy, his intelligence makes him a more formidable foe. Still no match for me, of course. But what will you do? Anyone persecuting him should also consider that fact. Do you really think you can kill him?" And that confirmed my suspicions to why Levi would take care of Eren, because he was the only one that could kill him without hesitation if it came to it. Anger spread thru my body and I felt myself glaring instead of staring at Levi now.

"Sir, I have a proposal." Erwin spoke but my eyes stayed at Levi and suddenly his eyes meet mine. What Erwin said was lost to me as I glared at Levi, not until Commander Zackly spoke again and Levi broke the eye contact did I hear what was said.

"Can you do it, Levi?"

"I'm certain I can kill him. The problem is I doubt I can do any less."

"Then my decision is made."


	7. Chapter 7

7"Mrs Evans, please. My orders were to take you back to the headquarters directly after the trial." Adam was standing by the carriage, looking desperate as he watched me.

"I'm not going anywhere!" I said, arms crossed and watching the entrance to the court house. I knew they were still inside it and I wouldn't leave until I got to see Eren, or give Levi my piece of mind. I heard a loud sigh behind me and felt slightly poor for the guy having to put up with this. At last I saw movement and Erwin came out of the court, with Levi behind him. I started to walk, determined steps.

"Please, Mrs Evans." Adam called behind me, moving after me. This made both Erwin and Levi look at my direction, Erwin casting a glance over his shoulder at Levi.

"Are you out of your mind?" I said, my voice raised and eyes directed at Levi. "Beating the living crap out of thugs, that's one thing but a defenceless fifteen year old?"

"Whatever it takes you said." He watched me with his grey eyes and I could see the amusement in his eyes. In pure frustration I raised my hand to slap him but not to unexpectedly he caught my wrist, stopping me.

"You could have killed him!" I hissed, he tightened the grip around my wrist and pulled me closer.

"You know I wouldn't!" He whispered and for a long moment we held eye contact. At last I breathed out, calming slightly.  
"If you do it again I…"

"What exactly will you do?"

"Levi!" I warned and I could see the hint of a smile on his lips before he let go of my wrist. I held my eyes on him for a short moment longer until someone behind him caught my attention. "Eren." I called out and walked over to him. He'd been standing together with Hange and Mike Zacharias, I recognized him immediately from when Erwin captured Levi and the others in the underground.  
"Valerie." He said when I pulled him into a hug. Then I pulled away and put my hands on his arms.

"Are you alright? How are you feeling? Does it hu…" I stopped speaking after looking him up and down. There was no sign of him have been beaten up as badly as he had, expect from the blood on his shirt.

"I'm fine." I looked up at him, confused.

"He's got an impressive regenerating ability, even his tooth grew back." Hange said besides me and I turned my head to see a tooth in a handkerchief. I stared at the tooth and then looked up at her. "Probably a part of the titan powers." She answered my unsaid question. I breathed out relived he was alright after all. Then I looked back at him, hitting his head hard with my hand.  
"What was that for?" He called out, pressing his hand against the places that I hit him

"For lashing out in there!" I hissed my hands on my hips. He blinked.  
"But…"  
"If there was one time in your life when you should have kept your mouth shut it was today! Do you even understand how worried I've been for you? If the military police got their hands on you they would….they would have…." Tears build up in my eyes and I pulled him into a hug again. "Don't do this to me again!"

"Mrs Evans." Erwins voice made me release Eren from my hug. "We should head back to the headquarters." I nodded and looked back at Eren and smiled.

I and Eren got to ride with the same carriage to my happiness, together with Adam and Mike. Hange had wanted to ride along but Erwin had forbid her, saying that Eren probably was all to tire for her questioning.

"I'm so relived that you're free." I said and smiled. Eren looked at me with a smile of his own. "I tried to get them to let me see you, but they wouldn't. It's been tearing me apart not knowing how you've been." I looked up at him.

"I'm just fine." He said, clearly thinking I'd been way too worried but still letting me off for it. He leaned back in the carriage, silently thinking.

"I at least got to see Mikasa and Armin, they told me what happened. That you saved them." He looked at me and I smiled up at him. "I'm proud of you." A small blush crept up on his cheeks and he looked away, it only made me smile wider. It was silent for a moment after that and I looked out the window at the scenario outside and felt myself relaxing in away I hadn't in days.

"Valerie." I looked at him again. He seemed hesitant but I could hear there was a question waiting.

"Yes?"

"Do you know Captain Levi?" I blinked, realizing he probably had been standing just behind Levi and me when they came out of the court.  
"I do." I answered truthfully, lowering my eyes slightly. He kept silent but I knew he wanted to know more. I wasn't sure how much I could say even if I lied. I looked up at the other two. Adam watched me and Eren with observing and curious eyes while Mike was sitting with his arms crossed, seemingly uninterested eyes but I knew better than be fooled by it. He'd been there that day in the underground. I looked back at Eren, giving him a smile. "As you know I got my contacts within the survey corps or else I wouldn't sit here know would I?" He seemed surprised by the answer but nodded and looked like he should have thought about it earlier. I glanced back at Mike, meeting his eyes for a short moment before he turned away, looking out the window. I sighed to myself and turned to look out the window as well. It pained me having to lie to Eren like this but it was for the better. The rest of the ride back went quite.

Back at the headquarters both me and Eren was escorted by Mike to Erwins office, of course Levi was there as well.

"I'll be brief." Erwin said and I sat down in the chair in front of his desk. "I'll be brief. Eren, tomorrow you will be going with Levis squad to our former headquarters where you'll be staying during your training." I looked at Eren standing with his back so straight and formal looking serious with a nod following his yes, sir. It made me grin slightly, never in my life had I seen him so proper. He almost looked like an adult, but I knew better. "As for you, Ms Evans." I turned my eyes to Erwin. "You'll be going as well!" I blinked, just staring at the man for a long moment.

"I'm not following, why am I going?" I asked at last. Erwin gave me his usual smile.

"I concluded that it may be favouring Eren to have someone he knows and trust in during his training, considering this is an unusual situation." I knew very well Eren was thinking the opposite.

"Of course, but wouldn't it be considered an issue that a civilian participates in such an unusual military event?" Erwin watched me for a moment, before his eyes trailed to Levi sitting in the couch before they came back to me.

"Would you rather to stay here?" Erwin read the reaction on my face and smiled at me. "As I suspected."


	8. Chapter 8

"The old survey corps headquarters. Originally it was an old castle we remodelled. So it certainly looks imposing. But being so far from the rivers and walls, it ended up being useless for the survey corps. It was established right after the survey corps's formation, when ideals were all they had. But I never imagined that this giant ornament would end up being the perfect place to hide you. Don't get cocky, new kid." I cast a glance backwards at Eren and Oluo as he leaned closer to Eren, trying to look intimidating I supposed.

"Sir?" Eren said, looking confused.

"I don't care if you're a titan. I can't believe Captain Levi will spend all his time with a brat like you…" Suddenly the horse slipped on a stone making Oluo bite his tongue. I smiled slightly and turned my head back forward.

"We are soon there." Eld said and I looked up at him, nodding as an answer. I still felt a little embarrassed having to ride with him. I looked forward and thought back to the morning before we left the headquarters.

 _Surprised Eren had been the one knocking on my door this morning, something that never happened before, and now we were the two first standing by the stable waiting for Levi and his squad to arrive. It didn't take long until a couple of peoples came closer and I recognized one of the immediately, slightly surprised that Petra was a part of Levi's squad._

" _Good morning!" She said as she came closer, smiling at us. I smiled back._

" _Good morning!" I answered her and then looked at the other three behind her, my eyes landing directly at a man with his light brown, curly hair styled in an under cut, like Levi, and a cravat around his neck, like Levi. I wondered to myself if he was trying to copy Levi when he caught my eyes and looked at me with a cold manner._

" _It's astonishing the Commander allows a civilian to come with on such a confidential and dangerous task!" He said with a dry tone, stepping closer. "Especially such a frail woman."  
"Don't let my appearance fool you." I said with a smile. _

" _Sorry Valerie, he doesn't know how to behave." Petra said, looking mortified by her fellow squad members approach. "This is Olou Bozado." She continued and then went on introducing the other two in the squad, a rather serious and stern man named Gunther Schultz and a more calm and proper man named Eld Jinn. It didn't take long before Levi showed up questioning why they hadn't readied the horse yet. The others made a move immediately but I was left standing, turning to Levi who'd stopped besides me.  
"We're riding?" I asked and he looked at me like it was obvious. "I can't ride." Still silent but his face expression changed slightly to a questioning one and I sighed. "You think I've had the time to practice?" He kept his eyes on me for a moment before he looked into the stable. _

" _Eld." It didn't take long for the man to stand in front of us. "You'll take Mrs Evans on your horse, since she hasn't had the time to practise." When he said the last part he looked at me with a smirk. I narrowed my eyes slightly at him._

" _Of course, Captain!" Eld answered with a respectful tone in his voice. I sighed to myself when Levi left to get his own horse ready but smiled at Eld._

Just like Eld had said we soon arrived to the old headquarters, the castle had seen better days I thought but it still was quite breathtaking. Eld helped me down from the horse and I thanked him. As the others went to bind their horses I let my eyes wander over the castle, it really looked old with weeds sticking up in the stoned court and you couldn't see thru the windows because of the dirt and dust that build up. I wrinkled my nose just thinking about how it would look on the inside.

"Look at all these weeds." I turned my head, Eld and Gunther standing behind me and noticing the same as me. "What a mess."  
"It hasn't been used for years. Inside, it's probably covered in dust." Eld said, saying out loud what I've been thinking.

"That's a serious problem. We'll begin immediately." I couldn't help smiling when I saw the dark look on Levis face.

"Yes, sir!" The two men said, turning to gather up the others.

"What you're smiling about?" Levi asked when he walked up, standing besides me.

"Nothing in particular." I answered and turned my eyes to Eren, Levi did as well. "If he thought cleaning with me was horrendous, then he has no idea what he's up against." Levi looked back at me and I smiled at him. "I don't expect he'll get by easy, considering how you criticized me in the beginning." Hadn't I known where to search I would like most people miss the signs of his face softening and his steel grey eyes hinting feelings, this time I caught something sorrowful in his eyes. As his squad and Eren came closer it disappeared and he turned to them barking out orders. Eren was ordered to take care of the upper floors and I volunteered to take care of the kitchen and dining room.

Entering the kitchen I had to take a deep breath as I took in the sight; dust, dirt and cobwebs everywhere. This kitchen hadn't been used in ages and it I would need to pull out something close to a miracle to make it usable. I couldn't help but to smile a little as I rolled up the sleeves of my white blouse. For days I'd been caught up in the survey corps headquarters with little to do and much to think about. Cleaning that small room I've been staying is didn't take long and dinner had been served for me. And now that Eren finally was out of the prison I could feel my body ached for this kind of work. I remember Gloria pointing out one time that cleaning was my relaxation. I took a deep breath again and then got to work, starting with opening up the windows and the door leading out to what I guessed once had been a garden land to grow vegetables. It was now overgrown with weed but with some attention it would soon be back to be a usual garden land. Something for later I thought to myself and turned to the kitchen, starting with sweeping the floors.

Entering the dinning room Levi found it already cleaned and spotless. He stopped, dragging his finger over the table and a smile playing on his lips as he found it completely clean. Looking up towards the door leading to the kitchen he proceed towards it. Opening it slowly he could hear a soft humming, one he hadn't heard in years. For a moment he was transfixed by the door just letting the sound sweep over him like a calming lullaby. At last he opened the door and walking into the kitchen to find it also already cleaned. Moving his eyes over the room he located the sound coming from an open door leading outside. Outside was Valerie on her knees, humming, and digging up weeds from an old, overgrown garden land. Her forest green eyes focused on the plant in her hands as she pulled it up and threw it on the pile of other weeds besides her. She stopped humming, breathing out slightly as she wiped sweat from her brow. This gave Levi a better sight of her dirtied clothes and he tsked in disgust, making her turn her head.

"You look disgusting." He said and she looked down on her clothes, a small smile on her lips.

"Rather like a hardworking woman." She looked up at him again, her smile soft and warm. She didn't get offend by his harsh words, she'd never had and rather by being taken back by them she'd read the meaning behind them. She stood, trying to dust off some of the dirt with her dirty hands resulting in her clothes getting dirtier. He wrinkled his nose.

"Go get those clothes clean!" He ordered and she looked up at him.

"Yes, sir!" She answered him, still smiling and moving towards the door where he stood. He didn't move from the opening so she stopped. Reaching out his hand a removing some straws of weed from her dark brown hair.

"And get a bath!"

After putting on a new change of clothes after cleaning myself up, I took a proper look around the room I'd been assigned to stay in. It was quite similar to the rooms at the current headquarters. However I had noted a door in the wall opposite to the bathroom and I was wondering where it was leading. Walking over to it I lightly put my hand on the handle and pulled it down. It opened and I slowly opened the door, curious to see where it led. It was an identical room as mine, I felt slightly disappointed and was about to close the door again when my eyes took notice of some papers lying on the desk. I walked inside the room, letting my fingers run over the desk as I looked at the papers on it, immediately recognizing Erwin's handwriting. I felt suspiciousness rising inside of me and turned my head to look to the bed. As far as I could see there were no wrinkles on the bedding. At last I turned my head to the closet and without hesitation walking over to it. Putting my hands on either knob I pulled it opened and as I suspected; properly taken care of clothes hanging in it. I pursed my lips, knowing exactly whose room this was.

"Why is my room next to yours?" Levi looked up at me from where he was sitting in the dining room. I read surprise in his eyes at first but it was soon hidden behind an uncaring face expression.

"Erwin's order." I kept my eyes on him, my hands on my hips.

"Why?" I asked again. He tsked in annoyance.

"He thought it best."

"In case I'd try to kidnap Eren? You honestly think I have the power to do that and do I need to remind you he's here on his own free will." He looked up at me again; his glare matching mine.

"In case the brat shifts and loses his control." My glare softened and he turned away his head again. "You're a civilian and protecting you is priority in case of that happening." I stood silent for a moment. I hadn't thought about that.

"I see. Sorry!" I straightened, looking at the other direction. I hadn't noted Eld and Gunther being in the room, they regarded me with surprise. As I'd come to understand people didn't stand up against or question Levi, if they didn't want to be put in place by him. So I guessed seeing me question him like this was and get out alive was strange to them. I looked back at him. "I suppose the rest of you got better things to do so I'll start with dinner!" I looked up at me and I read his respond in his eyes before I moved to the kitchen, feeling Eld and Gunthers eyes following me before Levi told them to stop starring and get back to work.


	9. Chapter 9

After dinner I'd made some tea. While the others sat in the dining room, discussing what I guessed was survey corps Intel, I'd decided to take care of the disk. I was wiping of the last plate when a loud smash from the dining room sounded making me drop the plate in surprise. It smashed against the stone floor, but I looked towards the closed door between the dining room and kitchen. I relaxed when I heard the loud, eccentric voice of Hanji from the other side of the door. I looked down at the floor, sighing at the broken plate. I kneeled down to pick up the pieces, sighing again over how many pieces it had smashed into. As I carefully picked them up my mind slipped away, thinking about how strange this last couple of days had been. Just a little over a week ago I'd been living calmly in Troast district and hadn't even dreamt about being where I was now. Sure that I'd never stopped hoping to meet Levi again but finding myself so close to him again, staying under the same roof, that I hadn't expected. I'd also been surprised over how it felt like I'd never been apart from him. Sure I could tell a change in him but at the same time he was the Levi I knew and loved. Suddenly something stung in my finger and I let go of the sharp piece of the plate I'd picked up. I hissed in pain as I pulled the hand to me, inspecting the finger. The red liquored slowly poured out of the small cut. I put the finger in my mouth, hearing someone snort I looked up to see Levi smirking down at me.  
"Wipe that smirk off your face." He walked closer to me and took a hold of my hand, pulling it upwards so he could examine it. Something about this felt familiar.

"You'll survive." He said and looked down at me. I smiled, suddenly remembering a time long ago.

"Has anyone ever told you how funny you are?" He blinked and the sorrowful look on his face taking over again. He let go of my hand and turned his eyes to the few pieces on the floor. "I got scared when Hanji barged in." I answered his unsaid question and he nodded. I looked down at the pieces again, continuing to pick them up and lay in the towel. "Levi. There's so much that has happened since then but I don't…"  
"You should go to bed. I'll take care of the rest here." I looked up at him. His eyes telling me to do as I was told. The words following lingered in my slightly opened mouth but I pressed them back and closed my mouth. Standing in silence and doing as I was asked of.

It took me sometime to fall asleep that night. My thoughts lingered on the small exchange between me and Levi in the kitchen. It slightly disturbed me that he didn't want to hear me out. I was sure he knew what I had been about to say but yet he didn't want to hear it. I couldn't really understand why he didn't want me to tell him I didn't blame him for everything that happened. I sighed and looked towards the door leading to his room; I could see the lights still burning in his room under the door gap. I watched the light move around, slowly feeling the tiredness taking over and at last falling asleep.

The sound of someone knocking on the door woke me up. First I just thought I imagined it but then there was a knock again.  
"Valerie, are you awake?" Petras voice rang thru the wooden door and I got up from the bed.

"Yes, I am." I called out just before I put my hand on the handle and opened the door. Outside Petra stood and looked slightly stressed. "Something wrong?" I asked.

"We need to get back to Troast, there's been an incident."

"Ohh, I see. Then I'll take care of things here while…"  
"The captain ordered you to come as well." I stood silently watching her for a moment.

"Then I suppose I'll get dressed." She nodded, telling me she would wait outside until I was finished. I got dressed as fast as I could and we where soon down by the stable where the others was readying their horses. Levi was already on his horse as well as Hanji whom I was surprised to see still was here. She looked stressed, like there wasn't another minute to waist. I then noted another man on his horse besides her. One I'd seen her with during my stay at the headquarters. By the way he and Hanji spoke I could tell something serious must have happened. Suddenly Eld came up besides me with his horse; I guessed he'd already been instructed to take me on his horse like yesterday. The ride back to Troast was fast and I was amazed that I'd managed to stay up on the horse. Arriving at Troast I was helped of the horse by Eld, feeling a bit dizzy by the fast ride. Steadying myself a little I looked around the place. There were lots of soldiers from the different fractions moving in and out of and around a large enclosure. Hanji and the man that was with her ran towards this enclosure.

"What happened?" I asked Eld when he stood beside me. He looked down at me.

"They caught two titans after the attack. They were supposed to be examined but someone killed them during the night." He said, his eyes looking towards the enclosure.

"You stay here." Levi suddenly spoke besides me and I blinked. I hadn't really understood why I had to come with them in the first place and now I was supposed to stay with the horses. He kept his eyes on me waiting for a respond and I sighed.

"Yes, sir!" I said, saluting him as well. I could tell he didn't find it amusing. At last he turned and walked towards the commotion and the others followed him. I stayed; watching them leave until Levis horse lightly bumped my shoulder and neighed. I turned and looked at it, smiling as I patted its head.

I didn't know how long I'd been standing there alone watching people move around. Some of the soldiers passing me had cast suspicious looks at me since it was obvious I wasn't part of the military fractions. I sighed loudly when a familiar voice called out or me.  
"Valerie?" I looked towards the sound and saw Caleb coming towards me in hurried steps. I realized I hadn't seen him since the day after the attack on Trost.

"Caleb." I said when he came closer. He smiled and breathed out in relief as he pulled me into a hug.

"I've been so worried. Where have you been?" He asked as he let me go. I looked up at him unsure what his reaction would be to my answer.

"Commander Smith was kind enough to let my stay at the survey corps headquarters during Erens imprisonment and trial." Surprise and suspiciousness was written on his face.

"I didn't know you had such strong connections within the survey corps." He stated and I gave him a light smile.

"Well, my husba…

"Yeah, he must have been something special." He said, the surprise slowly vanishing from his face. He turned his head slightly casting a glance around the place then back at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't really know to be honest. Levi ordered me to come here as well." This made his eyes widened slightly.

"Captain Levi?"

"Yes." I answered. He seemed confused, but the suspiciousness still lingered.

"Do you know him?" I opened my mouth slightly not sure how to answer it.

"He and my husband knew each other. He also got the responsibility over Eren and I got permission from Commander Smith to stay with them during his training."

"What? You're staying with Eren?" The look of pure fear on his face made me flinch.

"Of course I am. I'm his guardian so it's only natural that I would like to keep an eye on him, especially after what happened at the trial."

"But…"

"But what?" He looked slightly hesitant, like he was battling with himself until he spoke.

"He's a titan, Valerie." I stared at him with wide eyes. "And Commander Smith should know better than let a civilian stay at a place housing a titan. What if he lashes out and turns?" I was slightly surprised by this outburst from Caleb; he was usually so calm and gentle.

"He's a human! Just like you and me."  
"No Valerie, he's not. He's not like you and me. He could easily destroy the walls and let other titans inside and kill us all. He's one of them, nothing more than a monster that should be kil…" My hand slapped against his face made him silence. I glared at Caleb.

"You really had me fooled, but you're just like the rest of the military police; an incompetent coward." His eyes went dark as he took a firm grip of my wrist.  
"Let me go, Caleb!" I tried to push away from him but he just tightened his grip around my wrist.

"No, you're coming with me. I will not allow this!" I desperately tried to get my wrist out of his grip but he tightened it even more. He turned, about to drag me with him but stopped just as he'd started to move. I looked up from my wrist locked in his hand to see Levi standing in front of us. His eyes dark as he cast a glance at me and then at Caleb.

"Let her go, swine!" Caleb watched him for a long moment and then without warning he threw me forward. Levi caught me and I instantly took a hold of his shirt when he did.

"If it comes to it, I won't hesitate, Valerie. I'll kill him!" Caleb spoke and I turned too look at him, glaring at him.  
"If you lay a hand on him, the same goes for you." I said, feeling the anger boil in me. Levi, who still held his arm around my waist, tightened his grip a little. Caleb noted it and his dark eyes glared at me.

"You've chosen you're side then." He said and turned, walking away. I breather out when he was out of hearing range, feeling my eyes tear up as I felt betrayed.

"Are you alright?" I turned and looked at Levi, nodding as I lowered my eyes as I tried pushing away the tears. Levi let go of my waist and took a hold of the hand that Caleb had been holding, examining the brush that started to form.

"I've been through worse." I weakly smiled at him as his eyes moved up to mine. I'd seen the look in his eyes before, he was worried. I reached out and brushed some of his black hair to the side. "I'm fine." I assured him. "And thank you!" He let go of my hand after a moment, telling me to come with him this time as he would gather up the rest of the squad so we could go back.

I wasn't all to surprised when Levi decide to take me on his horse when going back. I could however see the surprised looks on his squad members faces, Petras the most visible. She didn't just look surprised but also a pained hint in her eyes. The whole way back I was silent, my mind yet again full with thoughts. I couldn't understand how Caleb reasoned. He'd meet Eren plenty of times, spending his free days helping me out, eating dinner with us and coming up talking to me and the kids when meeting us. He'd known Eren wasn't to keen on him, but he'd still treated him kindly. He'd even told me that Erens would make a good military police if he ever changed his mind on which fraction he would like to join. I sighed.

"Those swine's can't be trusted." Levi spoke suddenly, his voice low so only I would hear him speak.

"I suppose." I sighed again, looking straight forward and for the first time really focusing on the road ahead. I could see the castle in the distance. Silent fell between us for a moment. Levi breathed in and I could tell he was about to speak but was hesitant about it.

"Where you…"

"No." I turned my head slightly too look at him, my eyes serious as they locked with his. "He was a friend, nothing more." He nodded and I turned my head back to the road. The castle coming closer with every step from the horse.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello!**  
 **Finally it's done. I think I've restared on this chapter four times, unsure about how to continue. But I hope you all will like it. Just a reminder, since it's a quite the times since I wrote about it, Valeries made up husband was named after Farlan (Life - Without you, chapter 1), she will talk about her made up husband and use his first name so I thought I would be kind to remind you all about it so you don't get confused. Hope I didn't spoil to much. And from now on I will probably start uplode the chapters a little uneven since I just finished this chapter and don't have a new one ready. I've got some material and I know in the long run where I want the story to go so I'm not totally lost but I just don't have it all written down and so. I hope that you all will stick with me and continue reading anyways, I do know how frustating it is to start reading a story, fall in love with it and getting obsessed about it and then it takes month for the next chapter to come up if it even does. But I won't make you wait any longer, here it is Chapter 10, enjoy!**

* * *

"Valerie." Eren had sneaked up on me while I was sweeping the dinning room. I jumped in surprise and turned to look at him.

"Don't sneak up on me like that." I scolded him and he grinned slightly. Behind him the others had also came into the room. I hadn't even heard them come. I redirected my eyes to Eren. "Is everything alright?"  
"Yeah." He said and rubbed his neck. "I saw you talked with Caleb the other day, what did he want?" I got surprised; I hadn't even known that he'd seen us. I lowered my eyes, looking down at the broom in my hand.

"It was nothing; he just wanted to see if I was alright." I said and looked up at him again with a smile. It wasn't a lie I thought since that had been Calebs intention from the beginning before it had turned. Eren watched me, he didn't look convinced.

"It didn't look like nothing." My smile faded and I looked up at him with my mouth parted slightly not sure what to say.

"Don't worry about it." I said and turned back to sweep the floor. "He won't bother us anymore."

"What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"I told you not to worry."

"But if he hurt you I'll..."  
"Let it go, Eren." I raised my voice and turned to look at him again, behind him I could see the others react. I looked towards them; they all looked tense and ready for something to happen, expect from Levi. I couldn't help but glare at them but when I got eye contact with Levi I took a deep breath and turned back to Eren, softening my stare. "You were right about him. He was just like the rest of them. Don't bother with him, alright?"

"But..:" I took a hold of his arm.

"Promise me that if you happen to meet him, don't bother with him whatever he do or say!"

"I promise!" He said after a moment of silent.

"Thank you!"

"Well, then I don't have to worry about you marry him anyway." I couldn't help but slightly laugh and smile at the worries the boy held.

"How many times haven't I told you?" I said and moved my hand from his arm to his jaw forcing him to look at me like I'd done many times when he was younger. "You're my number one guy and I promise to get you're approval before I marry." I let go of his blushing face, patting his cheek lightly and smiled at him. "Now go get cleaned. I'll start with the dinner soon." He nodded and turned, walking out of the room. I watched him leave then I turned my head back towards the others, narrowing my eyes slightly before I turned to the kitchen to start with dinner.

It didn't take to long for the door to open and Levi coming in. I looked at him over my shoulder as I was chopping vegetables. He silently walked over to the counter, leaning against it a bit away from me with his arms crossed.

"Would it kill you people to have a little trust in him?" I asked, turning back my eyes to the vegetables in front of me, chopping them a little more furiously.

"You know the conditions for him being here." I stopped chopping and turned my face to him.

"Of course I do." He turned his face to me. "I've known him for five years; he's like a little brother to me. So the mere thought of you having to kill him…" I silenced and lowered my eyes. "He's just a boy."  
"He's a solider." Again I looked up at Levi, looking straight into his eyes.

"Then have a little faith in him. Is it too much of me to ask you that? At least have faith in my trust in him!" Silently he watched me for a moment until he spoke.  
"Do you trust me?" I blinked, my face wrinkling in confusion.

"Yes." I simply answered him and he nodded, turning his head away from me. Then he simply moved away from the counter and walked towards the door. I watched him leave, still slightly confused and with my mouth open in surprise.

The days moved on after that and Eren trained with Levi and his squad while I took care of the household work most of the time. For the moment Eren had to stick with the regular training with 3DMG and how to use his sword since the matter with the two titans that had been killed the other day still kept Hange from helping Eren with his titan training. It was obvious the boy slowly started to get frustrated over it but I think he kept himself together because of Levi. It was quite interesting watching the two especially since Eren never took orders from no one and now he was tailing after Levi like a puppy, listening to every command he got and performed them without hesitation or whining. Honestly I was a little jealous since I'd always had to nag on him to do something. At the moment I watched him cleaning out the stable, sitting on a chair with my legs crossed and sipping on my glass of water I'd brought with me. The glass I'd brought him was already finished and standing on the stone floor next to stool I was sitting on.

"Are you sure you don't want help?" He didn't even stop sweeping the floors to answer me.  
"No, I'm fine and Captain Levi ordered me to do it." I looked around the stable, I even leaned my head slightly to look out thru the open door before I looked back at Eren.  
"He's not here. And either way he'll have you redo it all." Now he stopped and looked at me, an eyebrow lifted in questioning.

"It's not that bad." I leaned my head slightly to the side.

"Not to bad?" I asked back. "How many times haven't I heard you referred to your cleaning as not to bad?" I stood up, putting my glass on the stool and walking over to the other brooms.

"He'll get angry."

"Then I'll deal with it." I smiled at Eren, for a moment he looked hesitating but then he smiled as well. I helped him sweeping the floors and cleaning the stable. We talked about the time before he and the others had left for their training, he told me much about the years in training some I'd heard before other things I hadn't and when we almost where finished after being silent for a moment he looked at me.

"Valerie, how exactly do you know Captain Levi?" I stopped what I was doing and looked at him as well. I remembered he'd asked me if I did know Levi earlier but had been satisfied with a simple yes. After that he hadn't asked me about it and I hadn't thought of explaining it further to him. I guess I was silent for to long because he continued speaking. "I understand it must be thru your husband but…" He silenced and seemed unsure how to finish.

"But?" He sighed.  
"You seem so familiar with him, like you known him for a long time." I got slightly surprised that he'd noted it but smiled slightly.

"You're right about that I do know him through my husband." I silence slightly, unsure how to continue. When Petra had asked me she hadn't wanted the details, just knowing how I knew him and on top of that Eren knew more about my supposed past life than Petra. "You know I was quite young when I married my husband." He nodded, watching me with curious eyes. "I often visited him at the headquarters and saw him off when he left for the expeditions as well as greeted him for his return During this visits and such I meet Levi quite often.." I spoke slowly, trying to come up with a good story in my head as I spoke and at the same time getting it all to sound natural. "Despite Levis rude and cold manners I became very fond of him. Farlan was too. He cared a lot for him and trusted him like no one else. They were family for me."

"Are you alright, Valerie?" I realized that tears had started to roll down my cheeks and wiped them away.

"Yes, sorry." Eren looked guilty for bringing the subject up, surely believing I was crying because of my husband. And maybe it wasn't so far from the truth at the moment since I cried because of Farlan and Isabel and the family we were together with Levi while living in the underground. "Well, anyways. That's how I know Levi in such familiar way. I should go prepare the dinner." Eren nodded, still looking guilty. "Eren, it's alright. You've done nothing wrong." I said smiling at him before I left hurrying towards the castle.

As Valerie hurried back to the castle she failed to see the woman leaning against the wall close to the door outside the stable, clutching her hand over her heart and her brown eyes blinking away the tears the build up. It pained Petra to hear the love and warmth coming from Valerie as she'd spoken about Levi. It had been obvious from the start that there was history between her Captain and this mysterious woman. It was the small changes in Levis attitude and the way Valerie behaved towards him that made it easy for her to see the absolute trust and care the two held for each other. She wasn't sure if anyone else of her squad member had noted it but she sure had and it pained her. But yet she couldn't bring herself to dislike Valerie. Truthfully Petra actually admired the woman. She looked like anyone on the outside but the more you got to know her it became clear she wasn't just anyone and the worst part was that she actually liked watching Valerie and Levi, thinking they matched quite well. Petra sighed loudly, lowering her eyes to the ground.

"What are you doing?" She jumped high, not prepared for Eren coming out of the stable. She turned to look at the boy with a nervously smiling

"Ohh nothing special, I was just going to see if you wanted some help." She blabbered out fast. Eren blinked and smiled at his superior.

"It's alright. I got some help from Valerie. But don't tell the Captain." Petra sighed again and smiled at Eren.  
"I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

It hadn't even gone a week when Hange and some of her squad members came to the castle. Hange exactingly told us it was time for Eren to start with his titan training. I'd lowered my eyes slightly, not finding it as exciting as Hange but at the same time I thought it would be good for Eren to get control over his powers. Hange, Levi and Eren had headed out during the afternoon after having talked about how the training would look like I supposed. The rest of the squad members had been left with me in the castle for this first time. Before they left Hange had turned to the soldiers remaining that I was in charge and that what ever I order would be carried out and then she was gone and I stood on the stairs up to the castle with a gapping mouth. I understood Hange only did it as a funny last minute thing but I didn't really see the fun in it. Fortunately for me Petra stepped in and helped me, pointing out things that could need to be fixed or cleaned in the castle.

It was close to dinner when they finally came back and I whom had sneaked out to get some air for the moment was sitting on the stairs watching as they ride to the stables and got off their horses. Erens head hang low and I guessed it hadn't gone as expected. When they came closer I smiled at them but it soon faded when I saw the bandage on Erens hands. Letting go of the broom in my hand I ran over to them.

"What happened?" I looked from Hange to Levi, demanding an answer.

"A failure." Hange simply said, sounding disappointed.

"Failure? His hands are bandaged!" I shouted. Levi tsked when he passed me as he continued towards the entrance where some of the squad members from both Levis and Hanges squad now stood.

"The brat's a soldier, he'll have to get used to far more injuries than those rat ass scratches." I turned to him, taking a grip on his arm.

"I asked what happened!" He stopped and turned around to face me. He glared down at me as I glared at him.

"You don't make the demands here, so stop with the whining or I'll have you sent back to the headquarters." His voice was cold and hard, I could tell he was angry at me but I didn't care. I was just about to answer him back when Eren spoke.

"It's alright, Valerie." I kept my eyes on Levi. "I did this to myself." With that I turned, looking at the boy with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I thought I needed to injury myself to turn into a titan." He lowered his head again, looking down at his heads and had a look of disappointment written on his face. "But it didn't work."

"Not this time anyways, well try again. It will work!" Hange chipped in with her usual intensive and hopeful voice. I looked at Erens bandaged hand, realizing he'd bitten his hand so much it started to bleed. Suddenly I felt a hand on mine and realized I still held a grip around Levis arm. He removed my grip, but kept took a grip around my wrist as I looked at him.

"You worry too much." He said with a low voice, all trace of anger gone from it.

"Can you blame me for it?" Regret and sadness filled his eyes as he let go of my wrist and turned to the entrance again, disappearing inside. I sighed; I hadn't meant it to sound so blaming towards him and regretted I'd even said it. A hand was put on my shoulder and I turned to look at Hange. She seemed to enjoy the scene she'd just witnessed as she smiled down at me, a hint of amusement in her face.

"It's refreshing seeing someone else than Erwin being able to put him in his place." She said her voice low as well so only I would hear it. "And you do it so much better!" Then she turned around to Eren. "Well, eat properly and then have a good nights sleep and then I'm sure we'll get better results tomorrow. Don't feel any pressure!" With that she continued into the castle as well. Since it wasn't me who'd prepared the dinner tonight it was already finished and for a change I could just sit down and eat. It was much livelier now in the castle than it had been the past couple of days with Hange's squad here as well. But even though all the people I didn't fail to note Levi didn't show up for the entire evening. I'd sighed, feeling like it was my fault.

"Mrs Evans, we'll take care of the washes." A man, maybe a couple of years younger than me came up to me when as I was walking towards the kitchen with a few plates and other things that needed to be washed up. Behind him two others stood; another man and a woman. I smiled gently at the three.

"It's quite alright." I told them. "I could need the time to relax for myself after this hectic day." The three looked at each other and then nodded.

"Understood ma'am. Then we'll retreat for the evening." I couldn't help but to smile wider at his politeness.

"That'll be alright Private…"  
"Just call me Simon." I nodded.

"Simon then. Well good night and sleep well." The three nodded and was then on their way out of the room. I realized they were the last and suddenly it all became so quite. I took a deep breath, feeling myself relax immediately before I continued into the kitchen. Of course it took longer than usual getting all washed up and the kitchen cleaned. I somehow regretted letting someone else take care of the dinner making since it looked like a war had broken out between the ingredients in the kitchen. I don't know how long it took me to finish up but I was quite exhausted when I was done, sitting down by the table for a moment. I looked out the window, it was pitch black outside and I concluded that the evening must have turned into night by now. I turned my eyes to the kettle, reminding myself Levi hadn't come down to eat.

There was a knock on the door. Levi looked up from the papers on his desk and watched the door. Who would disturb him this late? He didn't need to wonder for long as a voice called out from outside the door.

"It's just me, please open up." Valerie's soft voice called out.  
"It's open."

"I've got my hands full." He raised an eyebrow, for a moment watching the door before he stood and walked over to it. When he opened she was standing outside with a tray in her hands, a kettle and two cups as well as sandwiches. "All the food was eaten and I noted you didn't come down to eat, so…" She trailed off, looking slightly apologetic and uncertain about her decision.

A small amused smile hinted on his lips making me relax. He moved from the door allowing me to enter and I did without hesitation. Walking over to the desk I put down the tray on a paper free part of it. Not that it was hard seeing that he'd organized his papers neatly piles. I watched them for a moment before I turned to look at Levi. He'd closed the door and was now walking back to the desk. He stopped besides me, taking hold of the kettle and pouring up tea in the two cups. I smiled watching him do it with such elegance.

"Thank you." I said when he offered me a cup and sat down on the chair opposite his. He sat down in his chair, sipping on his tea in his usual unusual way of drinking. I let out a small laugh at it and he looked at me.

"What?" I leaned my head slightly.

"After all this time you still drink your tea like that. I never understood it." He looked at his hand holding the tea cup and then back at me.

"It might break." I raised an eyebrow.

"Break? How?"

"The handle." I blinked at the answer.

"It sounds like it's a history behind this but I'm unsure if I dare to ask." I answered at last sipping on my own tea with a smile. Again I could see the hint on a smile on his lips. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to sound so accusing." I continued when he'd put down his tea cup on the desk. He watched me for a moment before lowering his eyes.

"But you're right." I watched him with wide eyes.

"Levi." He looked up at me again, surely reacting on the despair in my voice.

"You should get some rest." Here we were again, him avoiding the whole subject.

"I'm not tired." I answered.

"You're going with us tomorrow so it's for the better." This made me blink again.  
"I'm going with you?"

"The shitty four-eyes said that it might ease you're worry." I looked at him with my mouth slightly open in surprise.

"And you agreed to it?" Now he looked slightly offended.

"Do you think I had a choice?" He answered back and I couldn't help but to smile.

"You always have a choice." I told him with a smile. "Then I suppose I should get some rest." I stood was about to move towards the door to my room but stopped when I was standing just a small bit away from Levi. I looked at him again; he was leaning over the paper at his desk now. "You should get some rest to. I've seen the lights burning inside here through the door gap close to the early hours of the day." He looked up at me.

"You're really something." I couldn't help but to smile wide at that.

"So I've been told." I took a step closer, reached out my hand and brushed it light through his hair, moving it slightly to the side. I then leaned forward, lightly kissing his forehead. "Good night, Levi!" He watched me with the usual mixture of wonder and curiosity as I stood straight and turned towards the door. I closed it, leaning against it and starring out in the darkness of my bedroom. I didn't really know why I'd done it. Everything had just suddenly felt like before and I just went with it. I sighed, leaning my head against the door. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed this until now and it pained me knowing this probably wouldn't last.


	12. Chapter 12

So the following day I was allowed to come with them on Erens training. Today the other squad members were with us as well and I somehow wondered if it had with my present to do or not. However I was absolutely sure that a few of Hanges subordinates had been assigned to stay close to me since I'd noted three of them always were close to me. I didn't care much about it and focused on watching Erens training that didn't seem to go to well today either. I'd been sitting on a bench watching from afar as Eren stood in an unused well trying to turn. Nothing happened for a long time and it seemed like the others was at ease about it, like they preferred it. Hange seemed disappointed but with her hopes still up and what I could tell Levi looking slightly bored over the situation but guessed that wasn't the whole truth. I myself wasn't honestly sure if I wanted to see Eren transform into a titans but I could tell that Hange been right about that this was easing my mind a little. After a while with nothing happening Eren was allowed up from the well to take a break and getting his hand bandaged.

"So your self-inflicted bites wounds on you're hands aren't healing, either?" Levi asked. Eren was sitting together with Petra, Olou, Eld and Gunther by a picnic table. Levi was standing close to Eren and I was standing on the opposite side, watching as Eren fiddled with his hands. I'd been right about my guess that Levi wasn't just bored about the situation; he was slightly irritated as well probably thinking this was a waist of time.

"No." He answered staring straightforward. Levi looked down at him.

"If you can't transform into a titan, our main goal of sealing Wall Maria is off the table. This is an order." I looked at Levi, thinking he was too hard on Eren. "Make it happen!" Before he walked away he looked at me, I could tell he knew what I was thinking but ignored it and turned around. Petra stood up besides me and I watched as she walked over to him.

"Don't let it get you down Eren." Eld speaking made me turn my attention back to the table in front of me.

"But..." Eren spoke but Oluo cut him off.

"Well, it just means you're more human than I thought." I wrinkled my nose at the comment, looking at the man with irritation.

"Better than rushing into something and getting killed. This isn't meaningless." Eld continued.

"Yeah, we can't be too careful." I looked around the table, feeling slightly uneasy about the men's attitudes. It made me feel like they truly would kill Eren if he lashed out.

"Mrs Evans." Someone called from behind and I turned to see one of Hanges subordinates coming towards me. It was the same man who'd spoken to me yesterday and one of the people I'd figured been assigned to stay close to me.  
"Sorry I've forgotten your name." The man smiled at me.

"Just call me Simon." He said and I nodded. "I just wanted to ask…" Then it suddenly went fast, Simon grabbed me and made a move back with his 3DMG. A loud bang could be heard and steam and wind was appearing making it hard to see. I shielded my face with my arms.

"Hey! What's that?"

"What was that explosion?" I could hear people speak around and looked forwards where Eren had been sitting, the smoke was slowly disappearing and my eyes winded at the scene; Eren stuck with his arm in a part of a titan's body. He tried to get his arm out of it. But what scared me the most was Levi's squad surrounding him with their blades drawn.

"Eren." I called out; trying to move towards him but Simon still held onto my waist and stopped me.  
"You stay here." He said and I panicked, trying to get free from his strong grip.

"No they're going to kill him. Let me go."

"Clam down." I stopped as I heard Levis voice and turned my head towards the scene again. He was standing in front of Eren, his face towards his squad, speaking to them. "I said to calm down. All of you." None of them did. My heart felt like it would stop.

"Eren." Eld called out and I got surprised over his reaction. He who always was so calm and gathered seemed panicked and scared all of a sudden. "What's the meaning of this? Why now? Without permission? Answer me!"

"Eld, wait." Levi called out.

"Answer him, Eren! What are you thinking?" Now it was Oluo who lashed out, followed by Gunther.

"No that can wait. Prove you're not our enemy, humanity's enemy! Prove it now! That is your responsibility!"

"I dare you to make a single move with that arm! I'll cut your head! I can do it, I'm serious! Want to try me?"

"Oluo, I said to calm down."

"Captain get away from Eren! You're too close." Now Petra spoke up and I felt anger building up inside me.

"No you're the ones who should get back. Get back!"  
"Why?" She questioned.

"My intuition." The others started shouting at Eren and I couldn't take it anymore. Noting that Simon had loosen his grip around me because of the intensity that was building up I made a move. I hit my elbow into his stomach and he let go of me in surprise. I made a move towards Eren.

"Please shut up for a second!" He screamed and I was about to call out his name when someone else did.

"EREN!" Hange came running towards him, pushing Gunther out of the way as she did. "Can I touch that arm? It's okay, right? Right? Just let me touch it!"

"Hange, wait a second." Eren called. I'd stopped as she touched the large hand in front of her. Breathing heavily as I watched steam evoke from the touch. She stumbled backwards.

"It's hot! Without the skin, it's really damned hot! Unbelievably hot!" She continued with her rambling and I just stared at the scene, Simon now by my side again. When she asked Eren about how it felt with his hand connected to the titan body he made a move, starting to pull. Suddenly he got out of the titan body and tumbled backwards and landed on the ground. I moved forward again, to fast for Simon to catch me, and got over to him, kneeling on the ground.

"Eren!" I breathed out, putting my hands on his shoulders. Levi walked over to us and Eren looked to the side.  
"Captain!"

"How do you feel?" Eren breathed heavily and was sweating.

"Not…not so good." Just a moment later he collapsed, the strength in his arm holding him up giving in. I caught him, pulled him closer to me and held him protectively to my chest as silent tears ran down my cheeks.

"No more training today. He needs to rest." I spoke through my tears, holding a hand around his tired body and the other on his head. Eld and Gunther moved closer and I instinctively tightened my grip on Eren. "Don't come close!" I hissed, turning my head towards them. They looked at me and then up at Levi standing on the other side of me. I supposed he made a sign for them to standby since they didn't come closer. Hange ordered some of her subordinates to help Eren and Levi kneeled down beside me when they came.

"You need to let him go." I pulled Eren closer to me, burying my face in his dark hair not able to let go of him. "Valerie!" The sound of my name made look up at him. "They won't harm him, trust me!" I slowly let go of Eren and Hange's two subordinates carefully lifted him up and helped him to stand before they walked towards the horse. I sat still on the ground, looking down at my arms and the emptiness in them now. I felt numb and my body was shaking, I couldn't move but I didn't have to worry about that since Levi pulled me up from the ground with ease. He held onto me, surely feeling my body shaking.

I don't really know how he managed to get me up on his horse and back to the castle but somehow he did and I had been sitting beside Erens bed in the dungeons since we came back. Two of Hanges subordinates stood guard outside the cell in case he would turn again. They didn't interfere as I gently stroked Erens hair and hummed to him to calm him down in his worried sleep. He tossed and turned, mumbling and quivered just like he'd done so many nights after the attack on Shiganshina. Suddenly footsteps against the stone floor echoed through the dungeons. I tensed immediately and stood up, taking a protective stand in front of Eren. I relaxed when it was Levi who showed up outside the cell, breathing out before I sat down at the chair again and continued stroking Erens hair.

"Leave us." I heard him tell the other two who did as they were told without questioning. I cast a glance at the entrance as Levi walked in. He stopped besides me and looked down at Eren who started to breath unevenly again. I moved my hand to his cheek, stroking it gently as I hushed. He calmed down and his breath slowed down. "How are you?"

"Worried, scared, upset." I answered slowly, keeping my eyes on Eren.

"You should go get some rest."

"I'm not leaving him."

"Valerie!" I turned my head and looked up at Levi, his eyes hinted concern.

"I'm not leaving him." I said again, this time with more strength behind my words. "I understand you're concern Levi, but I promised his mother I would take care of him." I looked back at Eren, tears building up in my eyes at the memory of Carla pleading to me before she was eaten by a titan. Suddenly Levi stroked his hand over my cheek, brushing away the tears that started to run down in my absentminded state. I looked up at him, his hand resting on my cheek and mixed with the concern in his eyes was the curiosity and wonder.

"Valerie." Erens disoriented voice rang out and I turned my face towards him, Levi withdrawing his hand in the process. I stood, leaning over Eren.

"I'm here." I said while stroking the side of his face. He looked up at me and I smiled down at him. "How're you feeling?"

"Tired, but fine." He answered but then noted Levi standing behind me. "Captain Levi." He said and moved to sit up.

"Take it easy." I told him, helping him to sit. I sat down at my chair again and Levi leaned against the wall.

"Do you remember?" He asked and Eren lowered his eyes.

"Yes." He sounded troubled. "Until I saw that they were actually ready to kill me, I didn't understand that they doubted me so much." Eren looked up at Levi again while I lowered my eyes slightly.  
"Of course they do. That's why I chose them." I turned my head to look at Levi as he spoke. "People say you only truly become a full member of the Survey corps after making it back alive from a mission. But whenever you fight the titans, you never have enough information. There are too many situations you just can't anticipate, no matter what. They've had to cultivate the ability to take quick action and to make ruthless decisions by assuming the worse case scenario. But that doesn't mean they've become heartless. It's not like they felt nothing when they turned their swords on you." Again footsteps echoed and one of Hanges subordinates that been guarding before showed up.  
"Captain Levi. Squad leader Hange wants to see you."


	13. Chapter 13

We walked up to the dining room where Hange togeheter with Levis squad waited. I kept close to Eren, moving my eyes over Levis squad members with a scowl on my face. Petra avoided my eyes when I looked at her.

"Look at this." Hange spoke and I turned my attention to her and the object she was placing at the table, stretching a little to see what it was.

"A teaspoon?" Eren asked.

"That's right." Hange said and picked up the spoon, holding it between her index finger and thumb. "The right Titan hand Eren created was holding this. Like this between it's index finger and thumb. It's hard to imagine that was an accident and for some reasons the heat and pressure didn't wrap the spoon at all. Anything come to mind?" I looked up at Eren standing besides me as he seemed to remember something.

"I was trying to pick it up. I transformed right after."

"I see." I looked back at Hange who watched the spoon. "That may explain why you couldn't transform earlier. Kill the titans, block the cannon shell, lift the boulder…In each case, you had a clear goal before you transformed. My theory is that your self-inflicted injury probably isn't the sole trigger. You may need some goal, as well." I watched Eren he seemed slightly confused as he watched his hand.

"It's true that when I turned into a Titan this time it was like when I blocked the cannon shell. But, I turned into a Titan to pick up a spoon? What the hell is this?"

"In other words, you didn't deliberately change without permission?" Gunther spoke and I turned my head to look at him.

"No, sir." Gunther turned his head and sighed before he looked at Eld and nodded. Eld nodded back as well did Petra and Oluo. I felt myself tensioning again and stepping closer to Eren so I easily could move in front of him and push him away in case anything would happen. But to my surprise the four of them reached up their hands to their mouth and bite hard in it. My eyes widened as I watched them. Hange seemed surprise as well.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Eren called out.

"That hurt." Gunther said.  
"This isn't easy. I'm amazed you can bite through, Eren." Eld said and turned to Eren.

"We made the wrong decision. This is a small price to pay. Not that it makes a difference." Gunther continued.

"Keeping you under control is our job and there is nothing wrong with that. So don't get cocky!" I looked at Oluo as he spoke and when Petra started to speak I turned my head to look at her.

"I'm sorry, Eren. We've been so jumpy. You must be disappointed in our stupidity. However, even so we're going to rely on you. And we want you to rely on us." I looked at Eren who also looked surprised by this sudden change in attitude. "So, have faith in us." I felt relieved by her words and relaxed a little, feeling very tired all of a sudden and I felt a headache growing. I put my hand over my forehead rubbing it lightly.  
"I told you to get some rest." I looked up at Levi standing beside me now. My hand still on my head I sighed but smiled.

"So it seems." I answered him and then turned to Eren, placing my hand on his chest. "Is it alright if I take a rest?" He looked at me, smiling slightly.

"I'm fine." He answered and I nodded.

"You know where to find me if there is anything, don't hesitate." I said before leaving the room, escorted by Hanges subordinate that had followed us up from the dungeons.

The next day I awoke and still felt rather exhausted but despite it I got up from the bed and prepared for the day. I was thinking much about yesterday and everything that happened. When I came down to the dining room it was already bustling with the soldiers as they ate breakfast. It seemed like I slept a little longer than usual and that someone else had taken care of the breakfast. I moved my eyes over the room, smiling at the energy atmosphere. I walked over to the table Eren was sitting by together with the rest of Levis squad.  
"Good morning!" I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked with his mouth full of food.

"Don't speak with your mouth full of food." I scolded him, narrowing my eyes slightly.  
"Sorry." He said, still with food in his mouth and not seeming especially sorry. I sighed.  
"Unchangeable." I muttered to myself. "I'm just fine. Where is Levi?" I asked, having noted he wasn't in the room.

"In the stable." Petra was the one answering me and I looked at her. I nodded.

"Be sure to eat properly." He was about to answer me but I spoke first. "And don't speak with food in your mouth. Honestly how many times haven't I told you this?" I shook my head before walking towards the exit and out to the front of the castle. I looked towards the stable and as Petra had said Levi was standing there alone, reading his horse. I smiled at the sight and how he so carefully tended the horse. I walked over to the stable and he looked up when he heard someone approach. "Good morning!" I said, he only made a sound of recognizing but his horse turned its head towards me and neigh as if to say good morning. I smiled at the animal and stroked it gently.

"How are you feeling?" He asked at last and I looked at him.

"Still a little tired but fine, a lot to think about." He nodded. It was silent for a moment until I spoke again.

"I've been thinking and I decided it's better for me to stay here and take care of things and keep out of Erens training." He seemed slightly surprised by this as he looked at me.

"Do you really dare leaving him in their hands?" He looked behind me at his squad coming out and walking towards the stable together with Eren, Hange and her squad. I looked at them for a moment before looking back at Levi, smiling at him.

"No, but do I trust you to keep him alive for me." I answered him. The hint of a smile played on his lips but it was soon gone when the others came closer. I turned to the others and told them I wouldn't be going with them today but wished them luck with everything. Hange suggested to leave some of her subordinates behind with me but I told her I would do better alone and that there wasn't too much to take care of in the castle anyways. After that I walked back to the castle entrance but stopped to watch them disappear out through the gates of the castle. I watched them until they were out of my view and with a light sigh I turned to walk inside.


	14. Chapter 14

The days passed on in the castle. Sometimes it bustled with life when Hange and her chosen squad for training with Eren were staying in the castle and I had my hands full with taking care of the household. Luckily I got some help during these times, Simon often volunteered to help. I could tell it wasn't just because he enjoys my company and asked him about it one time. He'd told me he used to help his mother a lot with the household since he was the oldest of three brothers and that he simply liked doing these trivial household choirs, it relaxed him. Petra helped occasionally as well but I'd noted she'd taken more and more distance from me. This became mostly noticeable when Hange and her squad had been called back to the headquarters. I was quite certain why this was but didn't bother too much with it. I was sure she would come around and tell me her feelings and thoughts in time.

It happened little over two weeks after we'd first arrived to the castle. Hanges squad had left after the dinner and I was taking care of the washing up. Petra had come into the kitchen and asked if she could help me to which I was grateful for since the piles of dirty plates, glass and other things was never-ending in my imagination. We had some small talk in the beginning; she telling me a lot about how Erens training was going both with Hange and the more regular training he was doing with them when Hange was gone. For sometime we had been silence now, concentrating of taking care of the wash up. I'd noted she'd casted me some looks the last half hour or so like she was eager to say something but just couldn't find her voice. I'd handed her a plate just a little recently to be dried up and put in it's place and when I now was about to hand her the next plate she was still stare absentmindedly at the plate in her hands.

"Petra, are you alright?" She jumped in surprise but managed to keep the plate in her hand and started to dry it off.

"I'm fine." She simply said and went to place the plate on the shelf with the other plates. I watched her as she took the other plate from my hand without looking at me.

"Are you sure? You don't look to well." Still she didn't look at me but I could see her anxiety grow. "Petra." She sighed, stopped drying the plate and looked at me with tears forming in her eyes. It was clear she fought hard to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

"I just…He, he isn't just someone you're husband knew, is he?" I sighed not surprised over the question.

"Sit down. I'll make some tea and then I'll tell you everything." I said and gave her a comforting smile as I took the plate out of her hands. She looked surprised by my calmness and also a bit confused but did as she was told. I put the plate back to its place before I started with the tea. When I'd put the kettle on the stove I sat down and opposite to her. "There was never a husband." I started and she looked at me wide eyes. "That was something Erwin came up with to protect me from questions about my past or people looking down on me because of it. So I could live a simple and trouble free life, which didn't work out to well either way." I said, joking more to myself than for her. I sighed again and looked at her. "I'm from the underground city." Her eyes widened even more and her mouth open in surprise. I smiled at her reaction. "I don't know how much you know about the underground city but it's a cruel world down there. Criminal gangs rule there and if you don't get sick it's a high risk you get murdered. Women are forced into prostitution and children get orphaned and have to live on the street. But I don't really have the right to complain, I had a good life. I was raised and loved by decent parents. But when I was fifteen my family were killed. My mother had the time to tell me to hide before they came to the room where we were and she got killed. I hide in a pantry but was found by Levi. I've never been so scared in my life as when he stood there and looked down at me with those intimidating grey eyes. I thought for sure that my life was over then but then he suddenly closed the door to the pantry. He was ordered to stay behind to kill me and when the others had gone he came back. Since that day I stayed with Levi." The tea kettle whistled making Petra jump, she'd been so intently listening to me that I think she forgot about the kettle. I stood and walked over to the kettle to pour up the tea. When I placed the cup in front of her she thanked me and put her hands around the warm cup but kept starring straight forward with a questioning look on her face. "Something you wonder about?" She looked up at me, an unsure look on her face.

"Why didn't he kill you?" She asked after a few moments of silent. I smiled, taking a sip of my warm tea before I answered.  
"I don't know. He never told me and I never asked. He told whoever it was that had been leading the gang that murdered my family that I was dead." I took another sip of my tea, thinking back to when I and Farlan had a conversation about this.

"So you stayed with him after that?" I put down my tea cup.

"I did. He did tell me I was free to do what I wanted and I did try to leave but fear of the unknown got to me. I'd been raised inside my grandfather's taverns, protected by his reputation and so I'd never really been introduced to what it really meant growing up and living in the underground. I had no way to protect myself or a way to make a living that wouldn't include doing unspeakable things."

"What happened then?"

"Well, I mostly took care of the household and cooked while he was out doing what he was doing. I never really involved myself in it, thinking it best not to but over the years I got to understand he was quite a notorious thug. Lucky for me that meant protection again since people knew I lived with him, most didn't dare lay a hand on me."  
"Most?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. I smiled

"There was a few stupid enough to try." I lowered my eyes, watching the tea cup. "He doesn't easily scare or intimidate me but those times he does because I don't know to with lengths he'll go or if he be able to stop." Looking up at her again she watched me in calmness with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "If you don't want me to tell you more I won't." I said, sure she was hurting as she put it all together.

"No, I want to know." I nodded and continued. Telling her in summary about how Farlan became a part of our household, about Isabel, how I felt like I've gained a new family, how mine and Levis relationship slowly turned into something more, about the offer to get a citizenship at the surface and when Levi and the others got caught by the survey corps. I told her about Erwin catching me as well, my time spent at the survey corps headquarters, how I learnt about Farlan and Isabel's deaths and how finally Levi had asked of me to live on with my life without him. When I was done she just watched me in silent, tears slowly still rolling down her eyes and her breathing loud. "I…I could never have imagine." She said as she wiped her tears with her hand.

"How could you?" I said, still smiling at her. Then she looked ashamed and apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I was stupid for thinking that you and Levi…" She silence but I knew what she had been thinking.  
"It's alright. I can understand you would think that." I said, looking down at my now cold tea for a short moment before I looked up at her again. "So now you know the truth. But you can't tell anyone. Eren doesn't know and I want it to stay that way until it's necessary for him to know."

"Yes, of course. I would never." She said and managed to form a smile on her face as she nodded her head. I watched her and took a deep breath before I continued to speak since this part was hard for me.

"And I want you to continue care for and love Levi." Her eyes widened and she blushed. "I can tell you do and I hope this new knowledge about him will make you understand him better. His not easy to understand and he don't easily shows his true feelings but he cares for others in his own way. So keep on devoting yourself to him and always stay by his side." "But, what about you?" It stung a little even though I knew the question would come. Petra's brown eyes watched me with so much confusion.

"I'm happy as long someone is there for him." I told her. "When all this is over, when Erens training is over here and Trost District is rebuilt, then where is my place?" She looked at me with her mouth slightly opened and her eyes saddened. "I'm a civilian and my place is in Trost District, working in a tavern and living on wishing my foster-children don't die on their missions outside the walls and hopefully will be granted with a visit from them form time to time telling me all about their adventures." She looked so unsure and sad. "Don't worry; I want you to do this for me." She kept her expression for a moment before she smiled at me and nodded.

"I will." I smiled back at her and just seconds later the door to the kitchen opened. We both turned our heads towards the door to see no one else then Levi. He looked at the two of us and then at all the dirty plates and things that still needed to be washed. I looked at Petra for a moment and she stared at her captain with a mixture of feelings in her eyes, her mind surely full of everything I'd told her.

"What are you doing?" Irritation was clear on his voice and I turned my head back to him.

"I'm sure you're not blind to see we're having a cup of tea as we're having a conversation between women." He cast me an irritated glare which I answered with a smile. "Don't worry we're done. I'll take care of this and in the mean time you can be a gentleman and escort Petra back to her chambers." I stood, looking at Petra who'd snapped out of her thoughts and looked at me with a clear blush on her face.

"I'm sure she can make her back way by herself." Was the respond and I turned my head to Levi yet again.

"And I'm sure Eren won't turn into a ramping titan at this précis moment so the need for protecting a civilian like me is quite low." I crossed my arms, keeping my eyes on his.

"Valerie, it's alright. I can walk myself back." Petra stood with her blush still visible. I kept my eyes on Levi and at last I saw the signs of him giving in. He turned his eyes to Petra.

"I'll escort you." I smiled in triumph and Petra looked choked. She looked at me and I gave her a hug as I bid her good night and soon I was alone in the kitchen. My smile slowly faded from my lips as my breathing became shaky and tears formed in my eyes. It was better this way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everybody! I'm sorry it's been a while since I uploded but I've been sooo damn tired arter work the last couple of weeks so I've been to tired to write and my computer is on the way to break down and is not working as it should -.-" but I haven't forgotten you lovley people and now I've got like three weeks of summer vacation so I will have more time to write and hopefully it will be tighter uplods. Sorry for keeping you waiting, enjoy chapter 15!** **Love** **xXxFangirlForeverxXx**

The days passed on and suddenly it had almost been a month since we came to the old headquarters. I was on my way to the kitchen to start with dinner when the sound of a bunch of people gathering outside caught my attention. I hadn't been told that there would be more people for dinner I thought as I moved towards the entrance door. As far as I knew Hange and her squad hadn't even visited today, having to attend other duties. Getting outside I had to blink to adjust to the light of the setting sun, not seeing properly. When my eyes finally did adjust they landed on a group of people I hadn't seen before. I moved my eyes over the group of people and suddenly my eyes landed on a trio I knew to well and I gasped, starting to run towards them.

"Mikasa, Armin." I called out and the teenagers turned their heads towards me. They both looked as surprised too see me as I felt to see them here. I hugged each of them and was about to ask what they were doing here when I saw the green capes they were wearing. I had to fight back the tears when I suddenly saw the three of them in their green capes with the wings on them. I looked at them and smiled, they looked so grown up all of a sudden.

"What are you doing here Valerie?" Armin asked and I looked at him, snapping out of my thoughts.

"Commander Smith was very kind and permitted me to stay here with Eren during his training." I said and looked at Eren for a moment. Armin seemed surprised by the news, it looked like he wanted to question it but decide not to. As long as I'd known Armin I'd known that he was quite curious with my connections to the survey corps and why I got so much support from them. He'd probably figured that the survey corps usually didn't support fallen soldiers families like this. However he had chosen not to question me about it which I was thankful to. He just nodded and I turned my head to Mikasa. "You look so thin." She blushed slightly and averted her eyes, she'd must have had an hard time while being separated from Eren. I move forwards her and reached up to touch her cheek lightly making her look at me. I smiled at her. "Make sure to eat properly tonight." She gave me a small smile back and then I turned towards Armin again. "So why are you here anyway?"

"All the new recruits is gathering here before the expedition." I blinked and looked at him, not really following what he was saying,

"Wait, expedition? What expedition?" The three looked at me, Eren looking the most surprised as he spoke.

"Hasn't Captain Levi told you?"

"Levi." His squad together with the other soldiers from the survey corps that had come with the recruits looked up at me. I could tell Levis squad had become used to my way of speaking with him as they just simply looked up at me. The other soldiers however looked at me with clear horror on their faces. "I need to talk to you." He sat with his back to me and I guessed he knew why I was there. "Now, please!" He turned his face towards me, glaring slightly at me but after a moment silently standing up and telling the others he would be back soon before he walked towards me. I kept my eyes on him as he came closer and was about to speak when he was close to me. He silenced me by taking a hold of my upper arm and pulling me with him. I could hear Eld continue the discussion they were having as Levi dragged me out in the empty hallway were he let go off me and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

"There's going to be an expedition?" I asked straight out.

"Yes." He had a bored look on his face but I could spot the irritation over me yet again interfering.

"When?"

"In a few days time." My eyes widened at the answer and for a moment I stared at him in silent, fighting back the panic raising in me.

"Why haven't I've been informed?"

"You're not a part of the survey corps." I sighed, irritation growing in me.

"Still here I am, granted permission to take part in what I'm sure is a military mission that I am sure that civilians shouldn't be allowed to take part in."

"Erwin mentioned it at the trial." I blinked, thinking back to the trial.

"He mentioned a mission to retake Wall Maria." I shook my head slightly. "Never that it would be carried out so soon. It's just been a month since Eren came here and Mikasa and Armin started train for the Survey corps. They're not ready!" Levi let out an almost soundless sigh.

"They fought the titans in Trost District." I sighed again.

"I know, but…" I trailed off. "That's not the same thing, now is it?" For a short moment we just held eye contact before he slightly lowered his eyes and I knew I was right.

"No." I lowered my eyes to the stone floor as the tears started form in my eyes. "Some of them won't come back." The hint of melancholy in his voice made my eyes tear up even more and when the image of Eren, Mikasa and Armin together in their green capes formed in my mind I had to close my eyes to fight back the tears.

"I must be stupid or something. I was supposed to be prepared for this, it's not like it was a secret which way they would go. I've had enough time; still it hit me like a rock seeing them today." I looked up, not particularly focusing on anything as I continued speaking. "Every step he took after that day was a step closer to this and Mikasa and Armin, they would follow him anywhere no matter where or what. And I knew there was nothing I could do or say that would change their minds so I didn't try. I knew this but still…" The tears were running down my cheeks now and I didn't even try to stop them as I turned my head to Levi. He watched me with a soft gaze. "It tears me apart."

"Valerie." He moved away from the wall; reach out his hands to wipe away the tears running down my cheeks. I looked up at him.

"Please Levi, bring them back to me." He didn't say anything but I could see everything I wanted to hear reflected in his eyes. Still holding his hands on my face he slowly stroked away my hair from my face as he leaned closer, my heart started to beat faster and I slightly parted my lips.

"Captain." I jumped at the voice and stepped back in the same instance Levi let go of me. I turned my face away since tears still slowly ran down my cheek and a blush was creping up. A swirl of emotions moved in my body and my heart was still beating fast.

"Go get some rest and calm down. Someone else can take care of the dinner." I turned my head slightly at Levis voice. I'd missed the conversation between him and whoever it had been coming out in the hallway. I nodded, my body suddenly feeling very weak and tired. I turned and walked away, leaving him in the hallway without looking back. My heart beat to fast and I couldn't control all the emotions in my body. I closed the door to my room and leaned against it for support. I stared out in the darkness, my breathing shaky and my heart not calming down. Tears formed in my eyes again and suddenly I was sitting on the floor leaning against the door with my knees pulled up to me. It was happening again, everything all over again.


	16. Chapter 16

Levi cast a glance out through the window in his room. The first ray of the sun was showing their appearance, colouring the sky. Even after all this time the sight still captivated him and he couldn't help but watch the rays making their way over the land and pushing out the darkness. After a moment he moved his eyes to the door separating his room from hers. He sighed and looked back at his paper work but felt himself unable to concentrate. Sighing again, he leaned back in his chair and cast another glance at the door. At last he stood, silently moving over the floor to the door. Opening the door he cast his first glance at the bed which was empty. For a moment panic started to rise until he heard a shudder and turned his head towards the sound. Valerie was lying on the cold floor, curled up like a cat. He walked over and kneeled down beside her trembling body. He could tell she had cried and her face held a worried and pained expression, one he'd seen before. As always he felt responsible for putting that expression on her face, for putting so much weight on her shoulders. His intentions had been to give her a peaceful and happy life instead she'd gotten the opposite and he blamed himself for it. She shuddered again, her lips trembling and he was drawn out of his thoughts. Gently he lifted her up in his arms and she snuggled closer to him in her sleep. Her face softening and her body relaxed in his arms. A small smile formed on his lips at her reaction and for a moment it felt like they were so far away from everything concerning the titans, survey corps and the wall. It felt like before. He sighed as he watched her sleeping face snuggling close to him and wished he could have given her the life she wanted. He put her down on the bed and sat down besides her, stroking her long dark brown hair. At last he leaned closer, kissing her head.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. He knew she couldn't hear him but he still felt the need to say it. She shifted, moving closer to him and he couldn't help but smile again. He had to tear himself away from her at last, afraid she would awake. He stopped by the door, watching her one more time and sighed. Even after all this time he didn't understand how she could have such effect on him. He lingered a moment longer before he closed the door again, walking over to his desk and continued with his paper work as the sun slowly made it's way up on the blue sky.

I slowly opened my eyes, looking up at the ceiling in my room. It took me sometime to realize I was lying in the bed and then sat up, looking around with a bewildered look. As far as I could remember I had fallen asleep sitting by the door, crying my eyes out. Or at least that was the last thing I remembered. I looked at the door and tried hard to remember how I came to the bed. At last I shook my head, I'd been filled with so many thoughts and feelings last night that it wasn't impossible that I'd done things without remember them. It all felt like a blur and thinking about it I wasn't sure about anything that happened last night. I sighed and stood up from the bed to get dressed. I needed to get down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for all the cadets. They would surely need all the strength they could get.

Entering the dining room I could hear voices from the kitchen. I slowly opened the door to see three young girls inside. One of them, a blonde haired short girl, looked like the only one who was really doing anything as she was cutting up some bread and scolded the other besides her for eating the bread she was slicing. A third girl sat by the table, looking amused as she ate an apple, but suddenly she turned her head and saw me.

"We've got company." She said with a bored voice between bites and the other two stopped what they were doing and looked at me. I got a full view of the blonde girl and was taken back by her immediate beauty, she looked like an angel.

"Ohh, you must be Mrs Evans." I blinked surprised she knew who I was until she continued speaking with her sweet voice. "Captain Levi ordered us to take care of the cooking in your stead. He said you needed the rest." I smiled slightly and nodded slowly.

"I see. That was very kind of him, and thank you for the help but I feel well rested now." I said and made my way over to the counter. I moved my eyes over it and silently sighed over the mess.

"Don't worry. We can do this." The girl insisted and I looked at her. She looked like her life deepened on this and I couldn't help but to smile a little at her determination.  
"Well, then..." I said and looked down at the bread slices. "Thinner slices; there will be many hungry soldiers out there." I nodded towards the dining room and she nodded back and continued to slice the bread. I cast a look at the other two and gave them task as well.

"Yes ma'am." Was the response from the girl that been eating bread until I came. The other girl dragged herself up from the chair in a lazy way but without complaining or acknowledging.

"Please, call me Valerie." I said as I made my way to pick out cups and other things needed.

"I'm Christa, and that's Sasha and Ymir." The blonde girl spoke up and nodded towards the other two girls. After that we continued working to prepare breakfast, the girls chatted on and I could tell they knew each other well. It also turned out they were from the same training corps as Eren, Mikasa and Armin and when the girls found out I had taken care of the three it didn't take long before we were swapping stories about them, or mostly Eren.

Over the few days that were left until the expedition I got to know the other cadets that been in Erens training corps. I took an immediate likening in Christa because of her shy but yet kind personality. She often offered to help me out with different choirs and I could tell she worked hard on making people see her as a good person. It made me wonder what the girl gone through to be so obsessed by the thought. Ymir however seemed the clear opposite as Christa had to force her into helping out as well instead of slacking off and the girl wasn't afraid to speak her mind. It was quite amusing to watch them sometimes but even more amusing was watching Sasha and Connie. The two of them always seemed to goofing around, something that remind me much of Isabel and I couldn't help but smile and laugh at the two. It was however clear that it got on the nerves on some of the older soldiers and Oluo frequently made remarks about the two of them not taking it seriously enough. I could from time to time see Levi cast glares at the two but I also spot something nostalgic in his eyes. I guessed he was reminded by the same person as me and therefore didn't make any comments. Then there was Reiner and Berthold which I first got the feeling there was something about I just couldn't put my finger one. Reiner however proved himself to be quite the caring and helping out. I was told by Eren he was like a big brother to the rest of them and I could tell he looked up to Reiner. Berthold however scared me a little as he silently moved behind Reiner letting him take the lead but it I could tell he was far more observing about his surroundings then he let on. At last it was Jean; that somehow had become a rival to Eren. Countless times I had to step between the two of them and scolding Eren for putting up fights with a fellow cadet. It wasn't to strange that the two had become like this since I could see a similarity in the boys with both being hot-headed and speaking their minds. It wasn't strange that the two triggered each other when standing on opposite sides of a discussion. I however couldn't help to like that there was someone daring enough to fight back with the boy. With the place full of cadets I somehow managed to forget about the expedition and everything it meant and instead enjoy the last days at the castle.

Then the day came that we had to pack up and head back to the headquarters. I took a long look on the castle that had been my home for a month time and thought about everything that happened during this time. Soon it would be over and I would go back to my life at Troast District that I'd been told had been rebuilt to it's usual form and that people now had moved back into their homes. I sighed. Not really ready for everything that awaited me.

"Are you ready?" I turned my head and looked at Levi who stood behind me.  
"Do I have a choice?" I gave him a sad smile as I turned fully towards him. His horse neighed lightly and moved its head towards me, like it felt my sad state and wanted to comfort me. I patted it with a smile. Soon I was up on the horse and cast one last glance at the castle before it disappeared. With a silent sigh I turned my head forward.


	17. Chapter 17

**So sorry for the long wait, I've had a hard time getting this chapter right and been re-writing it at least four times. But finally it feels right and I do hope you also will like it. Enjoy! And thanks for still sticking with me even though I unevenly uplode chapters.**

The next morning I watched all of them leave the Survey Corps headquarters with tears in my eyes. I stood on the stone yard watching them disappear out of the gates, Eren casting one of his radiating smiles back at me before disappearing. I'd hardly been able to speak; the only words coming out of me were for them to listen to their superiors and not going off on their own and try daring things. It wasn't what I'd wanted to say. I wanted to tell them that they had to promise me to come back, to stay alive. I wanted to tell them how much I loved them. But the words just didn't find their ways out of my mouth, I didn't dare say them afraid that if I did this would be the last time I really got the chance to see them. I hugged each of them long and hard, biting my lip hard not to cry. Not until they were gone did I let the tears fall from my eyes, putting a hand over my mouth to silently muffle my sobs as I stood on the stone yard and prayed for them coming back safe and sound. Not until one of the few remaining soldiers touched my shoulder did I look up. The little that was left behind was either soldiers injured from pervious expeditions or medical staff.

"Ma'am, let's get inside." The older woman that was part of the medical staff looked at me with a sympathetic look. I nodded; cast one more glance at the gates before I followed her in. When we came back yesterday Erwin kept surprising me by telling me I had a room ready to stay in at the headquarters until further notice. I understood it wasn't an offer he gave me, more like an order and I had slightly wondered why he kept keeping me around. Of course I hadn't dwelled much upon it with the expedition just around the corner. The rest of the day I spent sitting in my room, looking out of the window and continuing to pray for their safe return.

They'd returned to Karanes District the same day as they left. Back at the headquarters I was immediately summoned to Erwin's office. The solider following me to Erwins office hardly looked at me as we walked through the corridors, by the look on his face I could tell the expedition was a failure and I could fell my heart beat slightly faster by the worry raising in me. The soldier knocked on the door.

"Enter." He opened without hesitation and I was motioned to walk in before him.

"I brought Mrs Evans, as you wished Commander Smith." Erwin was standing by the window, his hands behind his back and looking out through the window.

"You may leave." He said and the solider besides me nodded and walked out without hesitation and closed the door. I looked at the closed door for a moment before looking back at Erwin. He was silent.

"Erwin, what happened?" He kept silent, continuing to stare out of the window.

"The expedition was a failure." He said at last and turned to me. His face looked worn and it looked like he hadn't slept for the whole night. "The survey corps is summoned to the imperial capital for a hearing about the expedition."

"And what about Eren?" I could already guess what the answer was but the small streak of hope still lived inside of me. He kept silent again, just watching me.

"Eren is likely going to be handed over to the Military Police after the hearing." I nodded as I lowered my eyes, trying to blink the tears that built up away. Erwin turned back to look outside the window.

"Where is he now?"

"He's resting in the medical ward." I nodded again, more to myself. After a moment I stood and looked at Erwins.

"Thank you Erwin, for everything. I'm really grateful for everything you've done for Eren and me." I said. He still had his back to me but gave an acknowledging nod. I turned and walked towards the door and just as my hand took a grip on the handle Erwin spoke again.

"Valerie." I turned to look at him, surprised by the use of my first name. He usually entitled me with my last name. He had a sincere and almost pleading expression on his face and it caught me off guard as he spoke the next words. I watched him with wide eyes as silence fell between us for a moment. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes." I said without hesitation.

"Good, then if you excuse me I have some paper works to tend to." He said and sat down by his desk. I nodded and gave him a sad smile, realizing how much burden this man must carry on his shoulders. I then turned, leaving the room in a hurry.

There was a knock on the door. A few moments of silence later another knock came; if he only ignored it the person would soon give up and go away. Another knock, three in a row to be précis. Harder this time, he tsked.

"Get the hell away, I've got no time for stupidity at the moment." He barked out. It went silent. He sighed and put his arm over his eyes as he lay on the sofa in his office. Suddenly the sound of the door opening made him react and he cursed himself for forgetting to lock the door. "Didn't I say to get the hell…" He silenced as he sat up and saw the person standing in front of the now closed door. The forest green eyes watched him with concern and sadness mixed with caring and love.

"Levi." He looked away, tearing his eyes away from her so he wouldn't give in to her compassion.

"Shouldn't you be with Eren?"

"Erwin told me what happened." He tsked. Of course he did, Levi thought.

"You should be with Eren."

"I probably should." She spoke and he cast a glance at her, she'd lowered her eyes but as if she felt him look at her she looked up at him. "But how can I?" She kept her eyes on him. He had to tear his eyes away from her, feeling her creeping in under his skin and reading every thought in his mind.

"Go to him Valerie." He said and stood, walking over to his desk. Her footsteps on the floor indicated she came closer to him and stopped behind him. He kept his eyes on the four letters on the desk waiting to be filled with words of condolences.

"Levi." He turned, his eyes warning her to come closer.

"Leave me alone."

I watched him. I heard the sharpness in his voice, the warning tone.

"No." He glared at me. "I won't leave you alone. Not this time." He walked towards me, gripping my upper arm in a firm grip and dragged me towards the door. "Levi, stop it." I tried to break free from his grip but without any effort, he only took a harder grip around my arm. He was about to reach out for the door handle when I slapped his face. "LEVI." He stopped and looked at me, surprised by my outburst. I glared at him, not angrily but with determination. "Don't push me away again." I felt his grip loosen a bit. "Don't act like you can handle everything on your own, no one can. Not even you Levi."

"How do you know?"

"You may be humanities strongest, but you're still a human even though you and everybody else seem to forget that at times. And human break down when they got too much to bear on their shoulders, when there's too much going on. Trust me, I know. I've gone through enough these last couple of years to know. Starting with loosing Far…"

"Valerie." He cut me off, the anger gone and instead regret visible on his face. I sighed.

"I don't blame you Levi. Why do you think that?"

"I made the decision."

"It was their decision as well. You didn't force them to follow every step you took. They made the choice to do so because they wanted to. They wanted to follow you and they wanted to live a better life on the surface. For Christ sake Farlan wanted that even more than you did. And Isabel would have followed the two of you everywhere because she wanted to." Silence fell and we just stared at each other.

"What about you?" I blinked, surprised. "What did you want?" I silently watched him, unsure what to answer. It had never been me chasing the dream of the surface; I was just going along with what they wanted. I never really put any thought into it because I was happy as long I was with them, with…

"You." Our eyes were locked. "I wanted you." Tears formed in my eyes and I lowered my eyes. Suddenly his hands were on my cheeks, wiping the tears away.

"Valerie." I looked up at him.

"I would have been happy anywhere. As long as I was with you." I lowered my eyes slightly.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"You made you're decision and I respected it because that's what you wanted." I looked up again. "I never blamed you. And I know that they don't blame you either, no of them." He'd let his guard down and he suddenly looked worn and tired, sadness hinting in his grey eyes. I moved my hand to his cheek, gently stroking it. "So don't blame yourself." Mixed with the sadness in his eyes was the curiosity and wonder he usually watched me with. He leaned forward, his lips meeting mine. It wasn't forceful, yet demanding as if his life deepened on it. Moving his arms around my waist, he pulled me closer and I gripped the fabric of his shirt with my other hand while the other hand rested on his neck and my fingers softly moving through his dark hair. He deepened the kiss and I clutched closer to him, realizing how much I'd longed to feel this closeness to him again. I'd entitled the whole of me to this person a long time ago and with every part of myself I could feel it. And this time I wouldn't let him go.


	18. Chapter 18

**Fear not, I'm still alive...even though one could think I'm not. Kind of hate my life a little at the moment, too much to do too little time! That's the main reason I haven't uploded here in forever. Has been a pain finding time to write. I'm so sorry that you all have had to wait for the next chapter and I've honestly been stressed out about not being able to deliver, hate it. I hope you will enjoy and sorry again! Love xXxFangirlForeverxXx**

* * *

She groaned slightly making him cast a glance at her as he pulled on his pants. Her dark brown hair was tangled and even though sleeping she looked exhausted. He sat down on the bed, gently tracing the line of her swollen lips and she shivered at the touch. Smiling he leaned down and kissed her, softly and careful not to wake her. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and he sat up again, turning his head to the door and groaned irritated when there was a another knock on the door. Valerie started moving behind him and he cast another glance at her before he stood. He reached for his shirt, buttoning it as he walked towards the door. Opening the door a young soldier he slightly recognized stood outside with a serious face.

"Sorry to bother you Captain Levi but Commander Smith commands you're present in his office." The younger mans eyes travelled to the side at the sign of movement. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Was there anything else?" Levi asked with a stern voice and the man redirected his eyes to him, a blush creeping up on his face.

"Uhh, no…that, uhm, that was all, Captain." He shuttered. With a clumsy salute he was soon gone and Levi closed the door with a sigh.

"Levi." He turned his head towards the bed. Valerie was sitting up, shielding her naked body with the cover and a small blush was visible on her face.

"How're you feeling?" She blushed harder and lowered her eyes, surely embarrassed.

"I'm fine." She mumbled and gripped the fabric of the cover tighter. He smiled at her shy behaviour.

As he moved towards the bed I looked at him and something caught my attention, all feelings of embarrassment and shyness left me.

"Why are you limping?" I asked and looked up at him. He stopped in front of the bed and looked down at his leg.

"I was careless." I gaped, looking up at him in disbelief.

"Since when are you careless?" I asked and he avoided my eyes. "What happened?"

"You told me to bring them back to you." He said and sat down on the bed. I blinked, realizing that I really didn't know what had happened during the expedition.

"Erwin just told me the expedition was a failure, nothing about what happened." He looked at me, silent for a moment.  
"That's all you need to know." He reached out his hand, putting it on my cheek and pulling me forward, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. I supposed he wanted to spare me the suffering.

"Thank you for bringing them back to me." He looked down at me, his hand still resting on my cheek.

"Stay here until I come back." He said and stood. I looked up at him as he did.

"You should get someone to take a look at your leg."

"Always worrying."

"It may heal improperly otherwise." He smirked down at me and I was about to scold again when he leaned down and kissed me gently. I was taken by surprise and the blush from earlier came rushing back to me. He moved away and I just stared at him with wide eyes and my mouth still slightly opened.

"Don't worry."

"How can I not?" He didn't answer me before he left the room but I could tell by looking at him that he understood. There been too much going on this last month for me not to worry, especially since Eren once again was going to be taken away from me and this time it seemed like no way out of it. Tears formed in my eyes as I thought about it and I let them silently run down my cheek.

Eren refused to see me after the return and Erwin went on the same line as Eren and forbid me to try to see him. Suddenly I was thrown back to when he'd been imprisoned by the military corps. Like last time I was at least allowed to meet with Mikasa and Armin who at least told me that Eren seemed to blame himself a lot for whatever happened on the expedition and especially to Levis squad. The expeditions outcome had been a hard blow on Eren and it made me even more anxious to see him. I felt myself growing dispirited about the whole situation and the images of Carla asking me to take care of Eren and Mikasa rolled in my head day and night. Almost every night I awoke with a startled just as the titan was about to devour her. After that it was useless to go back to sleep and I found myself sitting in my room crying until early morning. I couldn't keep my promise to Carla and it killed me that I couldn't.

"Valerie." He called but still he got no answer from inside. With a tsk he moved his hand to the handle and pulled it down. It wasn't locked and so he entered the room. He moved his eyes over the room to find Valerie sitting on the cold stone floor, leaning against the wall and looking out the window. Her hair hung over her shoulders, shielding her face. She didn't even turn to look at him and he guessed she knew who it was. She always seemed to know. He walked towards her and kneeled down on the floor in front of her. She moved her eyes to him. Her eyes were red with dark circles under them from insomnia and crying. She looked worn and pained, but the sense of her determined strength still lingered around her. She opened her mouth as to say something, but seemed like she couldn't find the words and instead sighed and lowered her eyes slightly. He moved his hand to her face, moving away her hair and putting it behind her ear. She looked at him again.

"I promised her." She said and he watched her. "I promised her to take care of them and I couldn't…" Her lips started to tremble and tears started running down her cheek. He moved his hand to the back of her head and pulled her forward to his embrace. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he stroked his hand over her hair. "I don't know what to do. I'm going to lose him." She whispered after a moment, her head still resting on her shoulder.

"Do you think Erwin will let him go so easily?" She blinked and moved her head, looking up at him with a slightly confused expression on her face.

"No, but…how? Not even Erwin is that influent."

"Trust me." She kept her eyes on his and it was obvious she was hesitant. At last she relaxed, breathing out and the hesitation went away.

"I do."

The next day Levi and Eren had left to go to the old headquarters before the military police would come and escort them, Erwin and some of the others from the survey corps to the capital for the hearing. I was left at the headquarters but to my surprise Erwin came to get me the same evening telling me I would need to go with them to the capital. I didn't understand why and the only answer I got was that it was necessary for the escort to go smoothly. It all was even more confusing when Erwin told me to stay in the room assigned for me until I was summoned the next day. I hardly got any sleep that night, wondering what he was planning.


	19. Chapter 19

Riding in the carriage towards the capital I still didn't understand what was going on. I did especially not understand why the carriage that was supposed to carry me and Eren was instead carrying me and Jean disguised as Eren. And in my opinion a badly disguised Jean that made me question the military police even more. I'd asked Erwin about Erens whereabouts but simply been told that I needed to know that with my assist the military police would be even more convinced that it was Eren in the carriage and that would secure Erens safety and chances of getting out of the hands of the military police. I sighed, clearly louder than I expected since Jean looked at me.

"It's going to be fine ma'am." I looked at him, he looked as nervous and scared as I felt, with the expectation of the seriousness in his eyes. It was obvious that he knew more about this plan than I did.

"I do hope so." I said and gave him a small smile. Suddenly something that sounded like thunder could be heard from outside and I snapped my head to look out the window. The carriage came to a stop and from outside I could hear muffled voices speaking. It wasn't long until Jean stood up and jumped out of the carriage. I attempted to stop him, not sure if it was alright for him to get out but ended up standing in the opening to the carriage and watching as a military police soldier stopped him instead.

"Wait! Don't move, Yeager!" The soldier said and took a grip on him.

"I'm done with this disguise!" Jean pulled of the wig on his head and threw it away. The soldier flinched in surprised and let go of Jean in the process. "Never call me by that name again, moron!" With that he ran away and I watched him as he approached Erwin and Levi. I stepped out of the carriage and the soldier cast a glance at me but seemed to deem me to be harmless and looked back to where Jean ran to. "Commander, I'm going too."

"Get your equipment from Squad 4." Erwin answered and Jean took on his green cape.

"It's good to see that someone has the balls to go but don't forget to do your damnedest to stay alive." Levi spoke and Jean looked over at him with a serious face, almost all trace of being nervous and scared gone from his face. I couldn't say the same for myself as I stood still watching them with my heart racing inside of me.

"Yes, sir." With that he was soon gone, using his 3DMG to move towards the commotion that could be heard in the distant.

"Erwin, what is this?" The man speaking was the Commander of the Military Police, Nile Dok.

"Commander, here!" Suddenly another solider from the survey corps came with a box containing Erwins 3DMG.

"Good work!" Erwin praised as he started putting on the gear.

"Hey Erwin!" Commander Dok spoke again but Erwin ignored him.  
"Everyone that can move, follow me! We'll rendezvous with the capture teams." Erwin started moving towards the same direction that Jean had disappeared but was soon stopped by Dok.

"Erwin, wait." He said and pointed his rifle towards Erwin, as he did the rest of the military police did as well. When the soldier beside me raised his rifle I backed as fear spread through my body. "What you're doing is clearly treason against the crown!"

"Nile, I'm starting to wonder if your brains don't even live up to that sorry excuse of a bread." Levi spoke and looked at Commander Dok. "Seems to me that you don't even have a clue what's going on." Dok ignored him and continued staring at Erwin.

"Remove your equipment, Erwin!" He said but just the moment after he did the sky turned darker and a flash of light appeared followed by the same thunder like sound as before. My eyes widened and I stared at the direction of the flash that disappeared as suddenly at it came. Moments later something that sounded like a roar and heavy footsteps could be heard. I felt my body tense and the fear took an even harder grip on my body as I stared at the direction of the flash. Dok stared in the same direction in silence. Not until two military police soldiers swopped down with their 3DMG and told him that two titans were fighting in the city did he regain senses. My heart raced faster and I felt the worry rise in the body. Titans fighting could only mean that Eren had transformed and was one of the fighting titans. But how had the other titan gotten this far inside the walls without notice. Or were there more people like Eren that could transform into titans.

"Titans fighting each other?"

"Yes." One of the soldiers answered Dok. "The damage to the city is unbelievable! There are many casualties, both civilian and military." I blinked and directed my eyes to the men. People where dying, innocent people? The mixture of feelings and questions in my body and mind was starting to get overwhelming. Dok turned back to Erwin, pointing his rifle at him again.

"Erwin! Is all this due to your plan?" I watched Erwin. One part of me wished that not even Erwin would sacrifice innocent people for the sake of humanity. Another part of me knew he would.

"That's correct. All of this was my personal decision. I don't intend to make excuses." Dok put his rifle over his shoulder and walked towards Erwin, taking a grip on his cape. It was clear he was furious. I lowered my eyes to the ground and tried to calm down.

"You must have known what would happen if you executed a plan like this in the city. How? How could you do this?"

"To lead humanity to victory."

"Bullshit! You're a traitor! I could execute you right here and now, and none of the brass would even care!"  
"That's fine by me. But then you must assume command. You must not let the Female Titan escape. Paehl's in charge of formation. Vyler oversees supply. Work with them to drive her to the east wall at all costs."  
"W-wait…wait!" I looked up at a shuttering Dok who seemed surprised by Erwins calm attitude. I cast a glance at Levi who watched Erwin and Dok. He didn't seem especially concerned about the whole situation either and it surprised me more than Erwins attitude. I knew Levi wasn't the type to let this kind of things go by easy. Sure enough he could be violent and threatening but harming and even killing innocent people with lightness weren't like him. "Are you…Are you really telling me that this will help humanity?"  
"I believe it is a step forward." Dok kept his eyes on Erwin for a moment before he closed them for a moment and lowered his rifle.  
"Lower your rifles, all of you." The military police soldiers seemed surprised by their commander's order but did as they were told. "Handcuff him!"  
"Yes, sir!"

"Deploy all of our men. Your priority is civilian rescue and evacuation!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Erwin, a trial will decide your punishment."  
"Once this is over, I'll submit to one with pleasure." Levi moved forward and Erwin turned to him. "Levi, you stay put. You dislike pointless deaths."

"Yeah, you're right. I despise it, whether it'll be mine or my causing someone else's." I watched as Erwin was lead away by Dok and some other of the soldiers from the military police. My breathing was uneven and my heart was still racing. I didn't even know what to think about the whole situation. It was all too confusing.

"Valerie." I turned my head at the sound of my name. Levi had walked over to me without me even noticing it and was now watching me. He'd changed out of his black jacket to his cape and he even had his 3DMG on.

"What's going on?" He was silent for a short moment as he simply looked at me.

"There's been an infiltration, another person who can transform into a titan."

"An…another?" I stared at him with wide eyes, the fear I felt probably reflecting on my face as well. "And Eren is...fighting this person?"

"Yes."

"And…people, innocent people are dying?" He turned away his head, looking at the direction from where sounds of houses collapsing and loud roars and footsteps came. It answered my question and I could feel tears build up. "And you're fine with it?" He looked back at me without a word, it wasn't needed either. I could see in his eyes that he really wasn't.

"We need to go." He said after a short moment of silence and reached out his hand for me. I watched his hand, hesitating. I knew where we would go but I wasn't sure if I wanted, if I could handle it. "Valerie."

If I didn't already feel dizzy because of all my feelings and thoughts the ride with the 3DMG made me. When Levi put me down I had to lean against a wall to steady myself but the sound of another roar made me look up. It was hard to see as hard winds had started to blow and a bright light was shining, but as my eyes accustomed I could see two titans; one of the titans body laying on the ground and the other hovering over and roaring loud. My eyes widened and I could feel both my heart and breathing escalate. Suddenly someone was spinning down, landing on the titan sitting up. I watched as Levi cut through the titan's skin to revel Eren inside of it. My legs gave in and I sat on the ground watching as he dragged Eren unconscious body out of the titan's neck; tears running down my face.


	20. Chapter 20

The skin on the titans evaporated and left two large skeletons behind. Around them buildings were destroyed and on fire, the wall was damaged, blood was scattered over the place and a few lifeless bodies of both soldiers and civilians could be seen among the wrecks. Soldiers were moving around the place and in the middle of the commotion a crystal like object lay. Jean was furiously hitting the crystal object with his sword that scattered more and more at every hit until there was nothing left expect from the trigger.

"Damn it. What is this?" He called out at the blonde haired girl seemingly sleeping inside the crystal. "We've come this far, and you still won't say a word. Annie!? Come out! Come out and finish what you started! Hey this isn't fair… Annie! Annie!" He raised his trigger, about to hit again. Levi reached out his hand and put it on the younger mans shoulder.  
"Stop it." Jean turned around to look at him. "It's useless." Jean lowered his hand and turned his head back to the crystal. Levi walked away as Hange started giving orders, moving towards Erwin, Dok and some of the military polices. He walked past Erwin, stopping just behind him and looked straight forward. "I don't suppose we can call this operation a success."

"No." Erwin simply answered, continuing to watch the scene in front of him. "We have ensured the continued survival of the survey corps, most likely by the skin of our teeth." Levi glanced at Erwin a moment.

"I hope so." He redirected his eyes to the alley where he'd left Valerie. She was till there, sitting on the ground breathing uncontrollable as tears run down her cheeks. He walked away from Erwin, towards her. She was trembling more than before and her eyes moved all over the place, fear clearly showing in her face. He kneeled down in front of her and her face slowly turned towards him. For a moment she held the distance between them, just starring at him with fearful eyes and tears running down from them. Her lips trembled and her breathing was ragged. Without a word he reached out, putting his hand at the back of her head and pulled her to him. She gripped the fabric of his shirt and cried into his chest. He cast a glance over his shoulder at Erwin who was watching them with an unaffected expression on his face. Levi tsked and turned his head back to Valerie, tightening his grip around her as anger built in him. He hardly ever questioned Erwin's judgments or decisions but they had a deal and Erwin broke it by making the decision to bring Valerie on this mission and only telling him about it when it was too late to stop it. He didn't understand for what reason either. Valerie's presences hadn't been needed for this, they would have gotten through with the plan even without her, so why?

It didn't take long until the military police gathered up all the survey corps to start with the hearings of the day's event. Since I'd been a part of the mission I was brought with them to the building where the hearings would be held but since Erwin explained that I'd been forced into this without knowledge of the situation or what the plan I was spared from the hearings that went on through the day. Before Levi had been forced to leave me for the hearing he'd followed me to the room I was assigned to rest in. I'd watched him leave, holding back the tears and trying to act calm about the situation so he wouldn't worry. The moment the door closed the tears had rolled down my cheeks again and the images of the day's event flashed in my head. Slowly the sky became darker and darker and I was starring out the window, the tears had stopped flowing since long. I wasn't sure if there simply wasn't no more tears or if I'd managed to calm down. I was drained of all my energy and felt empty inside as well, but still not tired. The door opened and I turned my head as Levi entered the room.

"We need to go." I could hear the calm gravity in his voice but I simply watched him. At the lack of reaction from me he moved from the doorway and walked over to me. He put his survey corps cape around me and when he was done he leaned down so he was face to face with me. "There are titans inside the wall. We're relocating." I guess the look of fear returned to my face as he watched me with worry, wondering how much more I could handle. I wasn't sure myself. He sighed and put his hand on the back of my head, pulling me forward and placing a kiss on my head. "I'll be with you." He whispered and I took a deep, shaky breath before I nodded and looked up at him. He watched me for a short moment before he backed away and I stood, following him out of the room. I got surprised to see Priest Nick waiting outside. The man looked pained, like something was burdening him.

"Pay no attention to him." Levi suddenly spoke and I looked at him. Without any other explanation he started walking, Priest Nick followed without a word and I stood still for a moment before I also followed. Levi made another stop and I was left with Priest Nick. We didn't speak but I cast a few glances at him wondering what he had to do with anything of this. In the hallway people was running back and forth, hurrying to gather up as much things as possible. I closed my eyes and breathed out; my head was starting to hurt.

"Valerie. Are you alright?" I opened my eyes to see Hange standing in front of me and looking down at me. I blinked.  
"Considering the circumstances, I guess." I gave her a weak smile and she grinned back at me.

"Good, then let's go." She said and took the lead. It amazed me how unaffected she seemed. I followed after in silence.

It didn't take long for us to get outside of the building were horses and wagons was lining up in a long row.

"Sorry to keep ya!" I looked towards the wagon we were walking towards and breathed out in relief when Mikasa, Eren and Armin looked back at us. I guessed they knew that I'd been part of the mission since none of them was surprised to see me. They seemed to be fine, expect from Eren looking tired. "Took longer to prepare than we thought." Levi stepped up on the wagon and reached out his hand for me, helping me up. Armin looked as surprised as I had at the sight at Priest Nick.

"Um…Isn't this a priest from the order of the walls?"

"Yeah, Nick and I are best buddies." Hange said and put her arm around the man. "Right? Don't let him bother you. The whole makeup of this squad doesn't make any sense. Does it, Levi?"

"No, I think it might. Erwin picked them out for a reason." I glanced up at Levi until I could hear Erwin speak loud.

"Open the gate." I turned my head towards the direction of the gate, watching as it moved upwards. "The situation within Wall Rose is unclear but everything up until Ehrmich is safe. We'll save time going through there. Move out!"

"Take us out!" Levi spoke beside me and I took a deep breath as the wagon started to move.

"Huh? He knew? There's titans inside the walls and he's known about it!?" Eren called out. I had silently listened to the conversation, feeling like I was hearing things I shouldn't.  
"Yes, though, he's kept his mouth shut this entire time. But now he's coming with us to witness the harsh reality. Will his beliefs be strong enough for him to stay silent? Or will seeing it with his own eyes make him question himself?"

"No, no, no, no! This is all backwards!" Eren stood up in the wagon, slamming down his hand on the wooden box in the middle of it. I sighed and couldn't help myself.

"Eren, calm down." I spoke with a firm voice and he glared at me.

"Stay out of this, Valerie." We kept eye contact for a moment until he turned back to Priest Nick and I lowered my eyes to the ground. "If there's something you know, you should tell us about it! Nothing's more important than keeping humans from going extinct!" Suddenly Eren gripped his head in pain.  
"Eren, Valerie's right. Settle down. You're still not fully healed." Mikasa pleaded and Eren sat down. I looked up at him but the sound of safety lock to a gun getting unlocked made me look to the side to see Levi holding a gun pointed at Priest Nick.

"There's more than one way to get answers. I may be injured and useless right now, but it doesn't take much to watch one man. I'm hoping we can settle this without blasting a hole in anyone. Aren't you?" I calmly watched him.

"Threaten him doesn't work, Levi. Believe me, I've tried. It seems to me that this Priest is capable of sound judgment. That's why I wonder…What if the reason he doesn't talk is because he know something more important than the fate of humanity?" Hange watched Priest Nick for a moment but then turned away. Silence fell in the wagon. The chilly wind swept over me and I tightened Levis cape around me. I turned my head forward, watching the soldiers ahead of us. Even though most of these people was used to fighting Titans you could feel the tension and wariness caused by this unusual situation. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. My head was still spinning from all that happened today and I wished this was just one long and horrible nightmare I soon would wake up from.


	21. Chapter 21

"Hange." I woke as Levi spoke, I'd dozed off. The tiredness must have caught up to me without me realizing it. "Hey four-eyes." I turned my head towards Hange who was looking at a piece of rock in her hands. I got slightly surprised to see the seriousness in her face as she was deep in thoughts. "Are your hobbies so boring that playing with rocks is somehow fun for you?"

"Yeah, that's right." She answered at last, still slightly absentminded. "But this is no ordinary rock. It's a hardened fragment of skin left behind by the female Titan."

"Huh? It didn't disappear?" I turned my head to look at Armin. He had a surprised look on his face. When Hange spoke again I turned back to her.

"Right! Annie reverted from a Titan, but it's still intact even though it broke off her body. It didn't evaporate. It didn't disappear." Her eyes were on the rock again with a absentminded look until she looked back at Armin. "So I thought; what if? When I compared it to a piece of the wall its pattern and composition were practically identical. In other words the wall is a barricade of humongous Titans. And if I'm right the surface is constructed with hardened Titan skin." She silence and cast a look at Priest Nick who'd lowered his head. My eyes rested on the piece of rock in her eyes, trying to grasp what she'd said. It wasn't that I didn't understand it, more like it frightened me and I just didn't want to believe it.

"That's exactly what Armin was saying." Mikasa said and her face expression surely reflected mine as she as well watched the rock with wide horrified eyes.

"Th-then…" Armin seemed to realize something but Hange moved forward and put her hand over his face, stopping him from speaking.

"Let me finish, Armin. As its stands, we'll be hard pressed to fill the hole in Wall Rose. That is unless we can find the perfect boulder to plug it. But if…But if Eren in his transformed state could use the Titans hardening ability to seal the hole in the wall…"  
"Use me..." Eren said and looked down at the wagon floor with wide eyes. I turned my face towards him; he had an unsure look on his face. "…to seal the wall?"

"It should be made of the same material. And seeming how the hardened section won't evaporate, even after you revert from a Titan…It's possible…" Hange said.  
"I think its well worth the risk to try. And assuming it really does work, reclaiming Wall Maria is feasible too. Up until now, we've had to transport a large quantity of materials and supplies. That's why the need for outposts past the wall limited our progress. But if we don't have to accommodate supply wagons we could quickly make our way to Shiganshina. What if we carried out the plan at night?" I kept my eyes on Eren as Hange and Armin spoke. I wondered if he could do what they were asking of him. It wasn't to long ago that he found out about his ability and as far as I knew he hadn't fully gotten control of it.

"At night?" Hange asked.

"Yes, during the night when the Titans can't move."  
"I see..." I turned to look at Hange for a moment, she was considering it. "If the group was small enough you could sneak all the way to Wall Maria." She looked at the rock in her hands again. "The currant situation is as bad as it gets, but we still have a glimmer of hope. "  
"Yes, but remember…" Armin turned to look at Eren. "…it all depends on whether Eren can seal the hole or not."  
"I realize asking this hardly seems fair but do you think you can do it?" It went silent as Eren stared around him with unsure wide eyes. He was just about to answer when Levi spoke.  
"It doesn't matter what you think. You have to. There's no other choice. We're out of options. Our forces are struggling so desperately there's nothing else they can do. You have to succeed." I looked up at Levi, he sounded harsh as he spoke but I knew he was pushing Eren.

"I will." His answer was no surprise and I turned my head to look at him. The unsure expression was gone from his face and replaced with a determined expression. "I'll do whatever it takes to seal the wall. Whatever it takes…" He fell silent, and his eyes became distant. "The basement..:" He said suddenly and picked up the key he always carried in a cord around his neck. "My dad's basement; if what my dad said was true we'll find the answers to everything there." I blinked in surprise at this. I'd never heard anything about this before, looking at Mikasa and Armin they didn't seem to surprise however. It amazed me how the three of them been living under the same roof as me for sometime and yet they'd never spilled anything about the key to me. I'd seen the key but had never given much thought about it. My thoughts were interrupted by Hange speaking.

"It's Ehrmich District." I turned my head to see the large wall tower over us.

The moment we stopped inside Ehrmich District the survey corps got busy with seating up the base.

"This is as far as we'll go with you." Levi said and looked at Eren, Mikasa and Armin. "I'll leave everything to you. You're the members of the impromptu squad chosen by Erwin after all." The three of them nodded and left with Hange. I watched them leave until Levi took a hold of my arm and I turned to look at him.  
"Stay close." I nodded in response and followed after him. Priest Nick was walking slightly ahead of Levi who was telling him where to go. We walked down a few stairs and when we came down Nick abruptly stopped and looked at the stream of people moving towards the gates. People whom had been forced to leave almost everything they owned and knew to evacuate. Nick had a surprised look on his face. Suddenly Levi shoved him forward by pushing his foot against his back.

"Hey, keep moving. You'll end up like a little lost kid." Nick moved slightly forward but stopped again, staring with wide eyes at the people. It surprised me how it seemed like he hadn't expected this.  
"Th-this is…"  
"What did you expect you'd see?" Levi asked, taking the words straight out of my head. "This is what happens when the wall falls." Nick stumbled forward, but Levi stopped him, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Hey. Where do you think you're going? Take a good look at the faces of people who've lost everything. The faces of everyone you and your people abandoned. If your church's wish comes true and Titans come flooding through the walls we'll be gobbled up in their stinking mouths and die in the most miserable way possible. All of humanity, digested as one." I'd lowered my eyes to the ground and my eyes had made their way to a dirty teddy bear lying on the ground. I walked past Levi and Nick to pick it up and dusted it off. I looked down the long crowed of people, wondering how terrified this teddys owner must be right know.  
"When Wall Maria fell in Shiganshina we didn't even have time to prepare ourselves. Ordinary people just living their lives, putting their trust in those walls that were supposed to protect us, keep us safe from the horror outside." I moved my eyes over the faces of this people and until they ended on the teddy bear. "I wished it to be a bad dream when the boats left Shiganshina, as people was dying. I wished I would wake up, home and safe. But it wasn't a bad dream." I looked up at Nick. "It happened. People died in the most horrific ways. People I cared for and loved. And as far as I understand after everything I've heard to night it's going to happen again." I glanced at Levi for a moment; he was looking at me with a hint of sorrow and guilt in his eyes. I turned my eyes back to the teddy bear in my hands before I turned to the stairs, placing it down on one of the staircases.

"Where's squad leader Hange?"


	22. Chapter 22

Levi lead us to the building were Hange and the others would be. She was just about to walk away together with Eren, Mikasa, Armin and a solider whose name I didn't remember. As we came closer she turned and looked at us with an aspiration expression on her face.

"Section commander, we should hurry." The soldier spoke and she looked at him for a short moment.

"Give me a minute, Mobilt." She said and ran towards us. "Have you had a change of heart?" She asked, stopping in front of Nick. He lowered his head with an apologetic expression on his face. Hange turned angry. "We don't have time for this! You know, don't you!? Will you talk, or won't you?! Make up your mind already!"  
"I cannot say anything. The other believers are the same as I and that will never change." He answered her.  
"Well thanks for nothing! We're so grateful for all the help you've been!" She turned away and was about to leave when he spoke again.

"It's too great a decision for a single person to make. The order of the wall must always adhere to the sacred will we're bound to obey."  
"Whose will? God or something?" Hange turned to look at him again.  
"I cannot say anything. However, I can inform you of a name, who under their sacred will, we were instructed to monitor." As he spoke Eren, Mikasa and Armin came closer.  
"Monitor?"

"That person joined the Survey corps as of this year. Their name is Christa Lenz!" I blinked at the mention of the name, remembering the sweet girl that helped me at the old headquarters.  
"Her?" Eren spoke and Hange turned her head towards him.  
"Who's that?"

"You must find her at once. Only she…she may know the truths which even we cannot perceive. That is all the information I can share. The rest I leave in your hands."  
"If she's in the 104th, then she's deep in the front lines right now."

"Let's go! We need to hurry!" Eren spoke and turned around.

"Wait!" Hange called after him as he ran straight into Sasha since he hadn't looked were he was running. I hadn't even noted when she came in and it seemed like no one else had either.

"Ouch." She said and rubbed her head.

"Sasha?" Eren said and looked down at her.

"What are you doing here?" Mikasa asked, looking at her as well. Sasha realized something and reached for a piece of rolled up paper on the ground. She stood up.

"Upon my arrival, I gave my report to the Commander! Afterwards I was entrusted to deliver this message to the Section Commander." She bowed down and reached out the paper to Hange.

"Message? Thank you. Good work." Hange said and took the paper and of some reason placed a potato in the girls hands. I watched her munch into it as we walked past her.

"So who is this girl in the 104th?" Hange asked.

"She's the smallest one of us."  
"She's got long golden hair. Um and…" Armin was thinking how to describe Christa. "She's cute."

"She's always hanging around Ymir."

"Ymir?" Hange had a look of recognizing on her face, she cast a glance at Levi. I looked up at him and could see the recognizing look in his eyes as well. I wondered what that was about but didn't get the chance to ask as Hange loudly started to think of a plan to find Christa. I was amazed over the level of seriousness that arose and just watched as the plan was taking form.

"Everyone understand?" Hange asked at last.

"Yes." The others answered and Eren turned to jump into action.

"We've got to go!"

"Calm down, Eren." Levi spoke and Eren turned to look at him, as well did Mikasa and Armin. I looked at him as well. "Everything's riding on you. Got it, Armin?" He turned to look at Armin. "Work with Hange and combine your knowledge."

"Y-yes sir!" Armin answered with a slight shutter. Levi turned to Mikasa.

"Mikasa. I don't know why you're so attached to Eren, but use the utmost of your ability to protect Eren at all costs."  
"Yes, sir! Of course!" She didn't hesitate when she answered. I smiled slightly at her determination.

"And finally, Eren, learn how to restrain yourself. Don't succumb to rage and lose sight of the goal. We can't afford another mistake."  
"Yes, sir!" They left, following Hange out of the building. I was left looking the direction they disappeared wondering yet again when they'd grown up so much. I sighed and lowered my eyes as I felt more like a spectator to their lives then a part of it.

"You should rest." Levi spoke and I looked up at him.

"That's all I seem to be good enough to do now a days." I answered him and turned my eyes towards the direction the others had disappeared with another sigh.  
"Ms, what's your name?" Nick suddenly spoke and I looked at him to see him looking at me. It looked like he was searching for something.

"It's Valerie Evans." I answered after a short moment.

"Which district are you from?" I cast a glance at Levi, not sure what to say. He was watching Priest Nick with suspicious eyes, also seeming to wonder what the man was after. I looked back at him.  
"I'm actually born in the underground city. I only became a citizen at the surfaces thanks to Commander Smith." He kept watching me.

"And your parents? Where they also citizens of the underground city?"

"Yes." I answered and Nick was about to speak again but Levi spoke up.

"That's enough, don't forget who's the one on the line here." Nick looked at him with slightly fearful eyes and kept silent. Levi ordered a solider that been left behind to keep an eye on Nick as he would escort me to a room. I was still watching Nick when Levi turned me around and started leading me away. I couldn't help it as the curiosity took over and I moved out of his hold and turned towards Nick again.  
"Actually my father was from the surface. I don't know which district he came from or why he chose to come to underground. He never wanted to talk about it and I stopped asking at last."

"What was his name?"  
"Ira. Ira Evans. Did you know him?" Something in his eyes flickered but it was gone as soon as it been there.

"No." I kept my eyes on him, he was lying. He turned away and followed the solider that Levi order to look after him. I kept watching him as they left wondering why he was lying. What did he know that he didn't want to tell me? I sighed and turned to look at Levi that to my surprise was watching me with a distant expression on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing." He said and turned. I blinked and watched him walk off. For a moment lost in thoughts as I stared the direction Priest Nick had disappeared too. It been a long since I'd last thought about my father's life on the surface and Nicks behaviour made all the questions and speculations I had when I was younger come back. Who had he been and what connections did he have with the Church of the wall?


	23. Chapter 23

Considering everything that happened the last couple of hours I thought my head and body would be all to worked up to find a way to calm down and fall asleep. It'd soon turned out it wasn't too hard but instead I was thrown into a sleep full of nightmares of memories brought to life. Memorise from my life in the underground and up to the last couple of hour's of horror repeated itself in my head along side the mysterious behaviour of Priest Nick that left me confused and wondering about my fathers past. I was startled awake and breathed heavily, the last memory on my mind being my fathers smiling face telling me I was far more special than I could imagine.

"Are you alright?" My eyes focused on the figure leaning slightly over me and the steel grey eyes looking down at me with composed worry.  
"I'm fine." I said and sat up in the bed, rubbing my aching head with my hands. I didn't fell especially rested. Levi watched me from where he was sitting on the side of the bed. "How are you? Did you get some sleep?" I asked and looked at him. He kept his eyes on me for a moment before he turned away his head.

"Don't worry about me." He stood from the bed and reached for my black bodice and blue skirt that rested on a chair. "Get dressed. We're leaving." I stood and took the clothing's from him.

"Have Eren and the others come back?" I asked, felling slightly hopeful. Levi cast a glance at me standing there and even though I had my white chemise on I felt exposed.

"No." I sighed as I lowered my eyes and nodded slowly. Levi put his slightly cold hand on my cheek, tilting my face slightly upwards making me look up at him. The kiss was soft and gentle, full of compassion.

"I'll wait outside." He said with a low voice before he pulled away from me and left the room.

The sun hasn't yet started to rise and I guessed it only could haven been a couple of hours since Hange and the others had left. Down on the ground floor the soldiers were still moving around, packing up the last things. As soon as they were done we moved out back to Trost District. Priest Nick was one again riding in the same carriage as us and I had the urge to question him about my father. That he avoiding to look at me made me even more curious but considering there were others soldier from the survey in the carriage I concluded he probably wouldn't speak so openly about it. Thinking about it I decided this wasn't a matter I wanted to speak openly about either so I kept silent, only casting glances at him from time to time. The sun had risen on the sky when we where back to Troast. While the other survey solider that ridden with us left we stayed in the carriage with Nick. I looked around the place to see that the military police gathered up with the Survey corps.  
"Are the military police working together with the survey?" I asked still looking at the gathering of soldiers.  
"Mhm. They've got no choice this time." Levi answered and I looked at him and nodded.

"Can you believe it? I thought this was an emergency?" The words from some of the military police soldiers behind me made me turn my head and look at the group.

"Yeah. And everyone's just sitting around here." I frowned at their eased attitudes.  
"Hey, Levi. Where you hiding the titans at?"

"Oh? You all seem so disappointed." Levi turned around and faced them and I looked at him. He had a dangerous glare in his eyes and looking back at the soldiers the ease in their faces was gone. "Sorry…A shame you couldn't fight titans today. If you're looking for another chance, there's plenty of expeditions outside the walls. How about we join forces and face some titans togheter?"  
"Uh, well you know. We're busy with work on the interior." One of them shuttered and looked at his comrades.  
"The advance squads returned! Inform Commander Pyxis!" We all turned our eyes to look at the young Garrison soldier.

Soon the others had gathered round the soldier and Commander Pyxis. Levi and I stood on the side watching the man as he spoke.

"I see…So there was nothing wrong with the wall." Commander Pyxis said.

"Yes, sir!" The man panted heavily as he nodded.

"As I suspected." The man and Sasha that been coming with him each took a sip of water from the bottles they gotten.

"H-Howerer, there's a bit of a situation." The man continued. "We were heading back to Trost to give our report when we ran into the Survey Corps led by Section Commander Hange. Along with them, there were recruits from the 104th without their equipment. And it turns out, three of them were Titans!" My mouth opened slightly as I stared at the man.  
"What are you talking about?" I immediately recognized the young man stepping forward as Jean. "Are you saying there were more!? Th-three more of them!? Who was it!?" Jean shouted loud and looked at Sasha who recoiled slightly.  
"U-uh, well…" She shuttered. I remember the discussion before Hange and the others had left, about there eventually being two more titan shifters working together with the girl they caught. I remembered the two boys from Erens training corps that been recruited to the survey corps as well.

"Jean, relax." I watched as Erwin stepped up and put his hand on Jeans shoulder. "What happened when their forms were revealed?" He asked and looked down at the Garrison soldier.

"The Survey engaged the Colossal and Armored Titan in battle. But by the time we joined up with them to fight it was all over." I looked at the man again, wondering what he meant with the fight being over. I was about to turn my head to Levi to try to read his reaction but as the man continued speaking I stopped half way. "In the end the Colossal and Armored Titan escaped, taking Eren Yeager and the other titan shifter with them." I could feel my heart and breathing speed as I slowly turned my head back to the man. Just like the evening before everything started moving. But instead of Hange barking out orders it was Erwin. Just like yesterday everything started moving and I was yet again left in confusion and worry, feeling like I didn't understand the full meaning of what was happening. Levi put his hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at him.

"We'll go back to the headquarters." He started walking and as I followed him with my eyes Erwin came in view as he spoke with another soldier from the survey corps. I kept my eyes on him, suddenly feeling anger rise in me.

"Erwin." Valeries voice made Levi stop and turn. She was walking towards Erwin, who ignored her as he walked away. "Erwin." Her voice slightly raised and she speeded up to catch up to him. Levi followed behind her. She reached out and grabbed onto Erwins arm. "Look at me when I talk to you." He stopped and looked down at her for a moment but his eyes soon moved to him, silently ordering Levi to get her out of the way. He moved towards her.  
"Val…" The glare in her eyes silenced him. She'd been angry at him before, even enraged with him but never had she looked at him with that kind of glare in her eyes. She turned her eyes back to Erwin that hide his surprise well.

"If you don't come back with Eren, then you don't need to come back at all." Her words were cold and Erwin regarded her with a serious calmness. She let go of his arm and turned away, walking towards the carriage. Levi watched her as she passed him but she kept her eyes straight ahead. He could tell the last couple of days had taken there tool on her. Levi turned his eyes back to Erwin who watched her with a thoughtful expression on his face. Soon the blue eyes turned to him with the same thoughtful expression before he turned away and left without a word.


	24. Chapter 24

**I know, I know and yet again I know...I'm the worst! It's taken way to long to get this chapter done and uploded. I have so much angesty about this but there's been alot at work these last couple of weeks and on top of that I've started working out in the gym and helping my fiancé with his driving training so that he can get a drivers license. All my time has just disappered and I've haven't gotten time for myself to do things like this. I've only had a few windows on teh weekends to write. I've been trying to keep it under a month between the uplodes but I know that didn't work this time.** **And I can only say I'm sorry, and that I of course care about all of you that's waiting for the continung story. Without you I wouldn't have much motivation to keep wirting. So THANK YOU to all of you that's still with me and that patiently wait for new chapters. I love you so much 3**

* * *

The carriage ride back to the headquarters was quite. Levi sat on the opposite side to Valerie and carefully glanced at her from time to time. Her forest green eyes were starring hard at the carriage floor, a mixture of emotions revealed in them. Her breathing was heavy and slightly speeded and she looked like she was trying hard to control every emotion running in her small body. Her hands were gripping the fabric of the skirt hard, her knuckles turning white. Levi let his eyes linger on her hands for a moment before he turned them away again, looking ahead of where the carriage was taking them. How much more would she need to go through? Hadn't she gone through enough already? He let out a silent sigh. He'd wanted to give her a calm life without more pain and sorrow, but she'd received the opposite instead. He moved his eyes to her yet again, remembering the scared fifteen year old hiding in a pantry. The girl was long gone and replaced with a woman with life experience no one should have. He lowered his eyes. What if they'd just stayed in the underground?

"Valerie." I looked up from the wooden floor of the carriage, surprised to find that we where already back at the headquarters. Levi was already standing on the stone ground watching me with clear worry in his eyes. I was left starring at him for a moment, wondering if he was aware of the emotions showing on his face. It was unusual for him to show it so openly. At last I stood and Levi reached out his hand for me, helping me down the carriage. He held my hand in his for a moment longer, looking down at me. I wasn't sure what he was searching for but he let go of my hand and started walking towards the headquarters. I followed him in silence. After walking for a bit we ended up in his office. Somehow it seemed like ages since I was last here and looked around the room.

"I'll be right back." I looked behind me at Levi lingering by the opened door with his hand on the handle. He looked more like his usual controlled self but I could still see the hints of worry in his eyes. "Wait here." He disappeared out the door, closing it behind him and I was left looking at it for a few more moments before I turned my eyes to look at the room again. I walked across the room and sat down by the small round table, looking out through the window. My head supported by my hand as my eyes distantly looked out at the view outside and got lost in thoughts.

She seemed deep in thought when he re-entered the room. Not even noting the door open and closer. Not until he placed the cup on the table did she move her eyes from the window and to the steaming tea in front of her.  
"Thank you." She said with a low voice without looking at him. She reached out for the cup, her fingers forming lightly around the cup. She sipped it carefully so not to burn herself on the hot liquid. He sat down and took a sip of his own tea. After a moment of silence he sighed and looked at her as she was about to sip her tea.

"Do you still feel blessed?" She stopped and looked at him with the cup still pressed against her lip. "With the life I've given you?" She seemed confused for a moment but then remembrance of the time she'd thanked him for saving her life formed on her face. "Despite everything that's happened?" She put her cup down on the table, her eyes following the movement and staying on the cup when it was placed down, her fingers still laced around it. He kept his steel greys eyes on her. She was silent for a moment as she was thinking. Then she looked up at him again.

"You have to stop thinking like that." She looked him straight into his eyes, locking him under her gaze. "Do I wish we where back in the underground? That none of this had happened and that Isabel and Farlan were still alive? Of course I do." She silenced, sighing slightly and lowered her eyes. "But that doesn't mean I'm not happy where I am." She raised here eyes again, a small smile playing on her lips. "Life has taken from me; it's been unfair and cruel. But it's also given me so much to be grateful for, to make me keep on moving even when I'd wanted to give up. And somehow I've managed this far, I've gotten through everything that life has laid in my way and I can still put a smile on my face."

"And if they don't come back?" She was left with her mouth slightly opened as if she was about to continue speaking when he did. He kept his eyes on her, still unsure if he'd made the right choice to push her with the question. She lowered her eyes again and closer he mouth, thinking about the question. He could almost see his word replay in her mind until she looked up at him again.

"I don't know." She answered with surprisingly much calmness, but with the hint of sadness and worry in her eyes. "I don't know until I get there." Again she lowered her eyes before she turned them to the window.

"Erwin may be cruel sometimes but he's set on his goal to make humanity strong again. He wouldn't let Eren slip out of his hands that easily."

I kept my eyes on the setting sun on the other side of the window. Regardless how much I hated to see it like that, I knew Erwin considered Eren to be a big piece in his game against the titans. It would seem most unlikely that he wouldn't give everything to get him back. However, that only made me worry more about Mikasa and Armin. Because if Eren was the king in Erwin's chess play; they were simple pawns. I sighed and nodded.  
"I guess you're right." I said, before I stood. "I need to take a bath and get some clean clothes. I feel like I haven't for weeks." He looked up at me, nodded slightly and then lowered his eyes to the cup in front of him. I kept my eyes on his clenched hand on the table for a moment. I couldn't help it as I reached out my hand and lightly putting my fingers under his chin, forcing him to look back at me. I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before I released him from my hold and walked out of his room.

Levi looked over his shoulder as she left. A moment after the door closed he turned back his eyes to the cup on the table. The tea had gone cold a long time ago. He sighed as he turned his eyes to the window. Maybe she was right about life, that she'd managed and get through it, she had before. But something told him this was different, that she wouldn't manage this kind of lose again. He sighed and rose from his chair, feeling dirty as well and needing to clean up.


	25. Chapter 25

I stood by the window in my room, drying my hair with the towel as I watched the dark sky outside. When I'd cleaned myself up the sun had already set and the darkness had taken over the sky. I sighed and turned my eyes from the darkness and looked down at the stone floor, wondering how much longer it would take until they returned. If the returned. The thought was so fast that I couldn't stop it and I moved the towel a little faster over my head, as trying to shake the thought out of my head. Instead my mind only wandered back to Levi's question. What if they didn't come back? At last a knock on the door brought me away from the thoughts for a moment and I looked at it.

"It's open." I called, knowing who it was. Levi entered; he'd cleaned up as well and was now dressed in a white shirt and black pants. He cast a glance at the towel resting over my head. I pulled it of but kept it in my hands, looking at it as I was fumbling with the fabric. "I was just going to dry my hair before I went to bed. It'll be a messy in the morning if I don't." Levis only response was a nod before he moved his hand to the side of my head, moving a bit of my slightly damped hair out of my face and behind my ear. "Shouldn't they be back by now?" It was silent and after a moment I looked up. Levi looked out through the window and I was surprised to see the worried and thoughtful expression on his face. I felt ashamed as I realized that I'd only focused on my own worries and fear of losing the people I loved and cared for. I hadn't thought about how it felt for Levi, being left behind here while people he cared for were out there risking their lives. Especially when I knew how much Levi hated to feel like he couldn't do anything to help them. "I'm sorry." Levi looked at me with a questioning look on his face.

"For what?" I lowered my eyes slightly.

"For only caring about my own worries. I didn't realize that there are people out there that you care for, like Erwin." I looked up at him again. He held my eyes for a moment and I could tell he hadn't expected this. He moved them to the window again.

"I suppose." There was silent for a moment but I could tell there was something on his mind and waited until he felt ready to say it. "He was the reason to why we came to the surface."

"The assignment?" I asked, even though I understood by the tone in his voice. He nodded.  
"We were supposed to steal some documents from him and kill him. But…" He silenced for a moment. I understood what happened. "He'd known all the time. That's who he is, always one step ahead." He looked at me again and I could see the trust he held for the man in his face and I knew it was hard to gain Levis trust. I smiled slightly. Suddenly the sound of hooves against stone reached my ears and we both turned our heads towards the yard. My heart made a leap when I saw the horses riding in though the gates of the survey corps head quarters. The towel in my hands fell to the ground as I turned my eyes back to Levi who was looking down at the group as well. It wasn't long until he turned towards the door and I followed, not caring I was only dressed in my nightgown.

Down at the yard it was evidently that once again the survey corps had lost soldiers. I moved my eyes around the yard and soon spotted Eren as he helped Mikasa down from the horse.

"Eren." I called out and both he and Mikasa turned to look at me. Armin stood close to them as well and I ran the last bit, pulling Eren into a hug. I couldn't help the tears of relief leaving my eyes. I realized he didn't make any movement of wanting to get out of my embrace as he usually could do. I moved away a bit and looked at him; he looked exhausted in a way I never seen before and he couldn't fully focus his eyes. "Eren." I said carefully and at last his eyes landed on me, focusing. I stroked his cheek lightly.

"Get the medics. Hurry up!" Someone suddenly shouted and I turned my head to see people running in panic a bit away from us.

"What's going on?" I asked.  
"The Commander…he got attacked." Armin spoke and my eyes widened, turning to Levi who stood behind me. He stood frozen, his eyes locked on the spot where the medics had showed up.  
"Levi." I put my hand on his arm, breaking his trance like state and he started moving towards the place. I watched him go; even though he looked calm I knew he wasn't. "What happened?" I asked and turned back to the others. Armin explained that a titan had caught Erwin by the arm but even though he'd kept ordering the soldiers to get Eren. He'd lost his arm but he was still alive for the moment. I felt a lump in my throat, the words I told him before he left repeated in my head. We watched in silence as an unconscious Erwin was taken inside the head quarters. Levi followed the group with what looked like an emotionless expression on his face but the million thoughts that was speeding in his head was seen in his eyes and his speeded breathing was shown at the way his chest lifted back and forth. Erens sharp breathing made me turn back to him. His eyes were filled with intense disappointment in himself as well as blaming himself for the outcome of his rescue. I was about to say something reassuring, to comfort him but orders were loudly barked out in the same instant, telling to help wounded to get to the infirmity and others to get to the large dining room.

Gathered in the room, Hange took place at the slightly elevated space where usually the commander and the captains sat down to eat. She told everyone in the room about their Commanders state but that the retrieval of Eren was a success and that what was expected of everyone now was keeping on with their usual duties until further orders. And with that she left, surely leaving to go check on Erwin.

I turned to Eren and the others. They looked exhausted and worn and I couldn't help to sigh soundlessly. When would these poor children get some rest?

"I suggest all of you go get cleaned up and to bed." I looked at them with a soft stare. Even Eren nodded slight even though he still seemed lost in his own thoughts. I walked them to the part of the head quarters were their sleeping dorms were. The group was silent, not even Conny or Sasha made a noise and I couldn't help but to notice the absent of Ymir. I moved my eyes to Christa for a moment, it was all I needed to understand that Ymir wasn't dead but something else must have happened. The mixed look on her face of confusion, sadness and a feeling of abandonment was one I'd been bearing myself once. A sting of pain struck me, remembering how I first felt when I had to live without Levi. I turned my eyes away from her, decided not to ask about it knowing this only would cause the girl more pain than necessary. So we continued to walk in silence, many thoughts on everyone of their minds. I bid them good night, feeling like I couldn't do much more than just being a steady point for them right now. I lingered in the corridor for a moment; the only light was from the moonshine coming from the window. I sighed loudly, wondering what to do from here?


	26. Chapter 26

It turned out soon enough that I didn't need to wonder to long about what I could do. Within a couple of hours after I went to bed that night Hange knocked on my door, asking me to help in the infirmity with simple things as cleaning the room and help with feeding those to wounded to do it themselves. It been a few hectic days at infirmity but it had slowly turned calmer and by now those with the worst injuries had been treated and even a few of the lesser wounded had already left the infirmity. I was sweeping the floors in the bigger room of the infirmity with beds lined up against the walls where they treated the less wounded and the ones that was close to recovery.

"Ms Evans, you can take your leave for the day. Thank you!" One of the nurses called to me with a small smile on her face. I nodded and smiled back before she turned to attend one of the wounded. Not long after that I put away the broom in the cleaning cabinet and made my way outside to get some fresh air. There was a soft breeze in the air that swept past me when I got outside and I took a deep breath, trying to get the smell of blood and foul smell all the different injuries and wounds caused out of my lungs. I couldn't help but to think about the first day with helping in the infirmity, the nausea I felt and even having to throw up because of the mixed smell of blood, dirt and wounds. Eventually the smell got lesser and I more used to it, but it still smelt horrible and the nausea wouldn't fully leave me alone. I started walking towards the sleeping courters, wanting to wash of the days work from my body.

Almost at my room I had to stop when I caught someone I recognized in the corner of my eye. Christa was standing by a window in one of the corridors, a broom in her hand, watching outside with a distant look on her face. Something about her made me remembering myself in the beginning of living alone in Shiganshima district. I approached her carefully but even though the sounds of my steps on the stone floor echoed in the corridor it didn't seem like she noted it.

"Christa." I softly said when I came closer to her. At first she didn't seem to react and I supposed she was deep in thought. "Christa!" I said and put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly and turned her head towards me with a slightly scared expression and fresh tears running down her eyes. She made a fast move, turning away and sweeping them away before she turned back to me with a smile.

"Ms Evans, I didn't notice you coming." She said. "Is everything fine with you?" I watched her for a moment, the smile was forced and it didn't reach her eyes. I remember her smile being warm and sweet. At last I gave her a small smile back.

"I'm just fine. Do you need som help?" I asked and she blinked as if she didn't understand what I was talking about. I nodded towards the broom in her hand and she looked down.  
"Ohh." Was the only thing that came out of her mouth as she looked at it. Then she looked up at me again with the same forced smile. "No it's alright. I'll manage, just got a little tired." She adverted her eyes, a mixture of sadness and hurt filling them.

"Christa, are you alright?" I asked. She started to blink and I guessed she was trying to keep her tears from falling. I hadn't really gotten the full picture of everything that had happened a few days ago but it was clear that Ymir was missing from the group but I didn't know why. Christa opened her mouth.

"I'm…" She looked up at me, the tears rolling down her face and her small frame trembling. It was like she let go of everything. "I don't understand. Why did she leave me? Why did she go with them? Why?" I moved instinctually and pulled the girl into my embrace, she let go of the broom in her hand as she clutched to me. "I trusted her. We where supposed to stay by each others side. " She cried and I stroke her hair. Her breathing became ragged. "It hurts so much. Will it ever stop?" I was reminded of a time when this had been me and the words Gloria had told me.

"No, it won't. The pain will never go away." I said and she sniffed. I shifted putting my hand under her chin to make her look up at me. "But you will learn to live with it, and it will make you stronger. Trust me!" I told her with a comforting smile as I swiped the tears out of her face. She blinked and sniffled, watching me and then a small smile formed on her lips, a sad but pure one. "Why don't you go and rest? I can take care of the last of this." She stepped backwards and out of my embrace, shaking her head.

"No, it's fine." She bent down and picked up the broom. "I feel a little better now and I need something to do." She looked at me and I nodded.

"Alright. But if there's anything, if you need to talk or help with something, just come to me. Okay?"

"I will." She said, her smile growing slightly wider. "Thank you Valerie." I nodded and turned, making my way to my room. I breathed out, the memory of my own break down after being left by Levi rolled in my head. I hadn't thought about that part of my life for a long time, about Gloria and her support. I just hopped she knew how grateful I'd been to everything she'd done for me.

The afternoon soon turned into evening and I was as usual sitting with Eren and the others in the dining room. I couldn't help but to keep moving my eyes to Christa, watching her carefully. She seemed to feel better than when I found her in the corridor and it made me calm but I also knew that what her mind and body would be a chaos of emotions and thoughts as she tried to make sense of all that happened. I smiled slightly to myself, yet again reminded of my past self.

"Valerie." I looked up to see Hange making her way towards me. Since they came back from the expedition she hadn't been quite herself. The energetic and smiling person she usually was had been replaced with a serious and focused attitude. As I understood it she'd been working day and night with trying to get a grasp about what had happened during the attack. "Can you come with me?"  
"Ahh, yes, of course." I answered and stood from my seating. We walked out of the busy dinner room and kept walking in silence. "May I ask what this is about?" I dared to say and she cast a glance at me over her shoulder.

"Erwin is requesting you're presence."

"Erwins awake? Will he be fine?" I asked.  
"Yes, he will." I nodded with a small smile, surprised by the relief I felt to hear those words. I'd been more worried about him than I had let myself understood. Suddenly I realized something and stopped.

"Why does he need to see me?" Hange cast a glance over her shoulder at me again for a moment and then shrugged her shoulders. I sighed and followed her in silence for the rest of the walk.

Hange knocked on the door and it didn't take long until we where granted permission to enter from Erwin. She opened the door and managed me to walk in. I was quite surprised over the fact that she wasn't entering with me but walked in as expected of me. She closed the door behind me but my eyes were focused on Erwin sitting in the bed. I stood still for a moment taking in the unusual appearance of Erwin. He was usually so well-kept but now his hair was messy and stubble had taken place on his face. He looked slightly tired as well with bags under his eyes and I couldn't help but wondered if he had a hard time sleeping. My eyes then travelled to his right side. Where his arm was to suppose to fill out the skirt he was wearing it was an empty space just below his shoulder.

"Ms Evans, what's with that concerned expression? Don't tell me you've grown fond of me." I moved my eyes to his, he smiled at me and I opened my mouth as to say something but couldn't find the words. "Please sit." He said and motioned towards one of the chairs close to the bed. I walked towards them and sat down, my eyes lowered on the ground. When I sat down I looked up at him.  
"How are you feeling, Erwin?" I asked.

"I'm just fine Ms Evans, don't worry." I nodded but my eyes travelled back to his left side.

"Erwin, I'm sorry. I was worried and angry, I never thou…" I trailed off, lowering my eyes to the ground again as I felt the tears building up and pressing out of my eyes. Guilt was building up in my body. After a short moment of silence he spoke.

"How much of a headstrong and determined woman you may be Ms Evans, I did have my own motives for getting Eren back as you know. And if that means losing my right arm, it's a cheap price to pay!" I looked up at him again. Erwin had always been quite a difficult person for me to understand but I got the feeling what he said this to calm me.

"Of course. I forgot." I smiled slightly, thinking back to what Levi told me the evening before they came back from the rescues mission. "So why am I here, Erwin?"

"As it turns out I'm quite incapable to do simple tasks and would need someone to assist me with writing reports and such." I blinked, slightly taken back by this.

"Why me? Aren't there more suitable people around here then me? I'm not even a part of the survey corps." He looked slightly amused by my surprise.

"Because I trust you, Ms Evans." The weight he put on the word trust made me think it held more meaning than the usual way he spoke about his subordinates. "The fact you're amongst the few that know of my awakening proves this."  
"And what, exactly, would I be assisting you with?"

"You'll stay by my side to take care of simple matters and errands, writing letters and reports." I kept my eyes on him, unsure of what to think about it. I sighed and looked away.

"Have you discussed this with Levi?" He chuckled slightly, something I noted he did when I hit the nail on its head.

"Of course. I wouldn't dare make these suggestions without discussing it with him." I cast a meaning glance at him, knowing this wasn't true. I was quite sure most of the decisions concerning me lately had been taken without as much discussion.  
"And he agreed?"

"Is this of importance?"  
"Yes, it is."

"He did." I nodded and turned my eyes away from him again, thinking to myself. Something was going on but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I cast a short glance at Erwin. If Levi had agreed to it, maybe it was for the better. I sighed and turned back to him.  
"What harm can it do?"


	27. Chapter 27

"It suits you well, ma'am." I cast a glance at the girl watching me with a small smile. I simply smiled back before turning my eyes back to the mirror. My eyes travelled to the white pants and knee-high leather boots with a slight unsettling feeling. I wasn't used to wearing pants and the tightness of them was a bit unnerving. At least I didn't need to wear the straps that usually came with the suit.

"Did Erw…I mean Commander Smith, say anything to way I needed to wear this?" I asked and looked back at the girl. I'd been quite surprised when she'd shown up a couple of minutes ago with the clothes, telling me that Erwin had instructed me to wear them.

"No, ma'am. Only that is was necessary." I nodded as she handed me the brown jacket and I turned my eyes to the winged badge on the back. "We should probably hurry up, ma'am. The commander is expecting you." I sighed again and pulled on the jacket, casting one last glance at myself in the mirror before following the girl to Erwins room.

There was a knock on the door.  
"Come in." Erwin called out and an young girl opened the door.

"Ms Evans is ready for you, sir." She said before moving out of the way. Levi turned his head as Valerie stepped in. She was dressed in the military uniform and she looked uncomfortable in it, a small blush on her cheeks and her eyes on the floor. He cast a glance at Erwin who on the other hand looked amused by this.

"Erwin, was this really necessary?" She asked when the girl closed the door behind her.

"Of course, you'll need to blend in." This made her moved her eyes up to him.  
"Blend in? I've gone this long without blending in, why now?" She leaned her head to the side, a slightly irritated look on her face.

"Don't worry, Ms Evans, it suits you. Doesn't it Levi?" She turned her eyes to him.

"It's unnecessary." He simply spat and she smiled.  
"You see. It's not like I'm a stranger in the survey corps." Valerie turned her eyes back to Erwin and shook her head slightly at Erwin.

"From now on you're an official member of the survey corps, it's only right that you'll wear the uniform." Erwin said and she sighed.  
"So what'll be my first assignment, Commander?" Levi smiled slightly at the way she spoke, the mocking tone she held when she uttered Erwins title. Erwin told her to get some documents, telling her were she would find them and she was off. Levi watched the door close.

"Is it really necessary with the uniform?" He questioned and turned back to Erwin.

"Not really. I was just curious to see her in it." He answered honestly with an amused smirk on his lips. Levi tsked, irritated.

It took some getting used to with the tight pants but in the middle of the day I'd almost forgot about the unused feeling. And right know with the conversation going on in the room my attention was occupied on it.

"…well truthfully, we had no choice but to declare wall rose safe within the week. We've already let the refuges return to the surface and perhaps I should say its fortunate that even admits all the chaos, only one incident required military intervention. When we tried to evict the illegal residents squatting in the city underground, there was a conflict with the stationary guard in one area. There were no deaths, but this incident had a huge impact within the wall. It was like hell had been unleashed for a moment. After seeing it for ourselves, we can be certain that one week after wall rose falls; people will begin to destroy one another." The Commander of the Garrison, Pyxis, was sitting at the side of Erwins bed talking about the situation with the evacuation that been executed because of the Titans inside Wall Rose. "Sorry, Erwin but this could hardly wait until you've recovered. I'm sure just hearing about this week is enough to make you want to take to bed again." I looked down at Levi who spoke, he was sitting on a chair besides me and on the other side of Erwins bed.  
"No I was getting tired of sleeping. Continue."

"It's too bad about your right arm." I lowered my eyes to the ground, the guilty feelings still in my body even though Erwin had assured me it was his own choice.

"How many hundred of people do you think I've fed to the titans by now? One arm is nothing. It'll be fine as long as I pay the bill for the hell to come." I looked up from the floor again, catching Erwins eyes on me for a moment. I smiled sadly.  
"Well said, Erwin. Will you let me join you in hell when that times comes?" And like that the mood in the room changed slightly. I didn't know Commander Pyxis to well but was grateful to the way he handled the situation.

"What are you talking about, old man? You've had enough too? It seems like you haven't had enough to drink yet."  
"Indeed. I would like a drink now. But the alcohol's been confiscated. Somebody is determined to keep an eye on me until the bitter end."  
"Hah, hah…looks like you have quite the exceptional subordinate."

There was a knock on the door, I as well as Pyxis and Levi turned to look at the door.  
"It's Hange." Levi said and looked at Erwin for a moment, then turned to the door again. "Come in"

"Pardon my interruption, Erwin." At the sight of Pyxis she saluted. "I'm glad we came while you're here, Commander Pyxis." She entered with Conny following her. He had a look of unbelief on his face and seemed slightly distant. "I'm here in regards to the investigative report for the incident. This is…"  
"Conny Springer, I'm a scout from the 104th." I got surprised by the seriousness in his voice, it was unlike him and didn't suit him.

"His hometown is the Ragako Village of interest. He joined my investigative squad due to his knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the incident." Hange continued.

"Connie." Levi spoke and I cast a glance down at him again. "You've worked hard." Connie had a slight surprised look on his face as he watched Levi but mover his eyes away, his face hardening a bit again.

"Yes." He simply answered. I let out a silent sigh, my eyes moving away from the boy. Because it was just what he was, a boy that shouldn't need to deal with all of this.

"Allow me to explain." Hange spoke again, slight nervous on her face. "Regarding the source of the titans this time. Indeed we have collected much evidence increasing the likelihood of that theory." I moved my eyes to her, raising an eyebrow wondering what the theory she mention inclined. "It seems that all of the residences in the village were destroyed by explosions from within. But despite such obvious evidence of destruction…we didn't find ay trace of blood. And the key is that even up until now we still haven't found a single resident of the Ragako village, furthermore…" Hanges eyes moved to Connie for a moment. His eyes were slightly wider and it looked like he tried harder than before to keep a straight face. "The total number of titans that appeared and were suppressed within the wall is exactly equal to the number of residents of Ragako village." My own eyes widened at the words, realizing what she was saying before she did. "And thus there is a high likelihood…that the true forms of the titans that appeared this time…are the residents of Ragako village." A silence fell in the room for a moment.

"In other words, the true forms of titans…are actually humans." Erwin spoke at last, my eyes was still on Hange as I processed this information.

"At present we don't have evidence to prove that all titans are like that. However if this supposition is correct, then perhaps that explains why the titans weak spot is at the back of the neck. And why despite the huge differences in their overall size, the weak points of all titans are exactly the same size. '1 meter tall and 10 cm wide'…just what sort of condition does this meet? If we were to apply something of this size to the human body, in the end we would find that if corresponded to the dimensions of the brain and spinal cord. If this portion were cut, regeneration would be impossible and all function would be lost. This must be a system separate from the rest of the titans composition."  
"But previously when you captured titans alive and cut open the back of their necks you never discovered anything like that, right?" Levi spoke and Hange looked at him.  
"Indeed…I never saw anything that looked like it had been transformed from human organs. But then it's not likely that something like a complete human brain could remain in the something like a neck that sealed up immediately upon being cute open. But within the '1 meter tall and 10 cm wide' space the same size as a human brain and spinal cord, there were indeed some structures there…they must have melded with the titans bodies already…so it's not entirely clear but…"  
"I don't get what you're saying, you shitty four-eyes."

"Ahh, my apologies."

"So…what of it? So all the flesh I've risked everything to slice is actually human flesh, huh." My eyes moved to Levi, feeling the guilt radiating from him. "And up until now I've just been flying around killing people, right?" It wasn't like he'd never killed an actually human before, but they've all been thugs and criminals and the situations almost always life and death situations. He'd never put a finger on innocent people as far as I knew. And as I understood he saved most of his brutal behaviour to the titans ever since he came to the surface.

"I said there was no absolute proof, right?" Hange spoke, trying to light his guilt.

"But of this is truly the case, then how can we understand the difference between ordinary titans and titans like Eren? Does it depend on whether the physical bodies have melded completely?"

"Hey, Erwin." Levi had moved his eyes to Erwin and I did as well when the man didn't seem to realize someone was talking to him. "Erwin." My eyes widened at the sight of Erwin smiling with a hopeful glee in his eyes. "What…are you smiling about?" Levis voice was low and he was surely also surprised at the sight of Erwin. He turned his head towards us as if he hadn't realized he was smiling for a moment.

"Ah nothing."

"You're a creepy guy…" Levi muttered as the smile showed on Erwins face again.  
"People have said that since I was little."

"Is that the real reason you joined the survey corps?"

"Give me a break, Levi. Don't you feel sorry for me at all, after I got one of my arms eaten?" I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Perhaps." Levi answered after a short moment of silence and Erwin nodded before turning serious again.

"In any case…where are Eren and Christa currently?"  
"Ah…we're dealing with that as well." Hange answered. "For now, we've hidden them in a safe place. They will stay put while this chaos passes."  
"We must not be impatient. The world within the walls at present is like a hornet's nest that's been struck with a stick. This is not yet the time to reveal the hypothesis of the titan's true identity." Commander Pyxis spoke again.

"Indeed we cannot make any further errors. With Christa, we'll be able to root out the organizations that know more about the titans. And if we can use Eren's ability, we can even retake the wall. Right now, those two are the key. Where are they?"

"It's precisely because I feel sorry for you, having an arm eaten, but I've made a number of critical decisions. The new composition of my squad, among them." Again my eyes moved to Levi. "As for Eren, he's most suited to an environment that will make him fret."

The meeting ended and everyone expect me was dismissed from the room. I looked after Levi, I could tell he was still dwelling on this titan theory and it worried me.  
"He'll be fine, Ms Evans." Erwins voice made me turn and look at him. He smiled knowingly at me and I blushed slightly that I was caught so easily. "He's not humanity strongest soldier for nothing." I sighed and shook my head.

"That's exactly the reason I worry." I said and moved towards the small table in the room on which a jug with water and some glasses stood.

"Enlighten me." Erwin spoke as I filled up a glass. I made my way to the bed, sitting down on a chair beside it and handed him the glass of water.

"I'm aware that he lives up to the name of being humanities strongest. But everyone, including himself, seems to forget that he's only a human. And if there's something I've learned over the years it is that no matter what humans can't handle everything. And as…exceptional he may be, he still has weakness that breaks him down." Erwin smiled at me  
"As far as I'm aware Levi only has one weakness." I moved my eyes to his, slightly confused at this but he kept smiling knowingly at me. "And that is you, Valerie."


	28. Chapter 28

**I am a bad bad person! Like I usually do I've lost a slight interest and moved on to other things. I tend to do this quite often, getting obsessed with something for a while and then move on to something else and then I usually comes back again and the circle just keeps going. And on top of that I've been busy with work and life in general so I've been quite tired and don't have the energy to do much. My days pretty much looks like; getting up, get to work, come home, take a nap, make dinner and hang out with my partner and then fall asleep to start all over again. I've hardly opened my computer the last couple of months because of it. Adult life isn't as fun as it sounds I'm afraid. But I've got a pretty good idea on where to take this story from now on, I've been holding onto this almost from the start so I do hope it will inspire me to start writing a bit more from now on. Of course I don't know when I'll publish again but I'll try to make it soon enough. And just so you know this is the last chapter of this part so I will throw out an update on this story when the new part is out.**

 **And for all of you who patientlly waits for the updates I'm so incrediable thankful. I know how annoying it can be to sit around and wait for a new chapter and it never comes. I will probably not be wirting for all internity seeing that the manga story seems to go on forever but my intetnion is to finish the story eventually. Thanks for following, favourite and commenting and know that I do feel guilty for not writing and updating fast enough. I love you all, and I hope you will have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.**

* * *

I watched the man with raised eyebrows.

"Me?" A small laugh mixed with the word as I shook my head. "Are you sure you didn't get a blow to the head as well?" Erwin laughed slightly before he gave a small shack of his own head, his eyes to the glass as he took a sip of the water.

"I've been by Levis side for all these years and I've personally experience how only the mention of your name gets him too react. The few times that man shows emotions mostly concern you, Valerie." I lowered my eyes slightly, knowing he was right. "When the wall fell in Shiganshina he had trouble concentrating on his assigned duties and suddenly one day he was just gone." My eyes moved up to him again, watching him with confusion.  
"Why?"

"He went to Trost, to try and find you." He took another sip of water and I just stared at him with wide eyes. "I suppose he did and that he was satisfied enough since he returned a couple of days later as if nothing, continuing with his duties with ease and more determination than usual." My eyes moved to my hands in my lap. "Nothing motivates him to keep going like you; to keep you safe is his main goal, which in turn means that what he is most afraid of is you not being safe." When he put it like that I could see the obvious pattern from when I first meet Levi. Most everything he did or decided when concerning me or us came from a wanting of keeping me safe. Thinking back on it even our past arguments almost every time was about me and my safety.

"Suppose you're right…" I started, my eyes moving back to him "…what do you think he would do, if…"  
"Something happened to you?" Erwin finished my sentence when I lost my voice. I nodded, watching him closely as he considered it. "Get distracted and make mistakes." We kept eye contact until there was a knock on the door. I got startled, making Erwin chuckle slightly at my reaction. "You're dismissed, Ms Evans!" He said before he called out for the person at the other side of the door to enter. I stood and nodded before leaving.

I closed to door carefully, sighing slightly as it was closed before I slowly made my down the corridor. I was deep in thought when someone suddenly pulled me into one of the rooms. A clasped hand over my mouth muffled my screams while the other held a tight grip around my wrists. The door closed and when the grip around me lightened I took the opportunity to turn, about to hit the person behind me. The wrist of my raised, clenched hand was yet again caught and I found myself starring into a pair of steel grey eyes. A smirk was visible on Levis face as he watched me.

"It's an improvement from the candlestick." He sounded amused but I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"Funny." I said shaking my head with an irritated sigh. "Why'd you even dot that?" I questioned when he let go of my wrist.

"I needed to talk to you." I just stared at him when he took a few steps away, standing in front of a desk.  
"Did you ever considering just asking, like a normal person?" I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. He ignored my question, his eyes on the dust layer on the desk and his nose wrinkled in disgust. I sighed, shacking my head. "Weren't you supposed to leave after the meeting?" His eyes moved to me, irritation visible as his eyes trailed over the uniform on my body. I couldn't help but blush the slightest as his eyes moved over me.

"You know it's only for his amusement he makes you wear it?" His eyes were back at mine. I sighed again, smiling slightly.

"I'm aware." He gave a short nod and turned his eyes to the window in the room, the irritated look disappearing slowly and the dwell from earlier on his face back.

"You couldn't have known." She spoke after a moment of silence, making him turn his eyes to her again. "About the titans and what they really are." She took a step closer to him, her eyes holding his gaze with understanding in them. He wondered if he would ever get used to her intuition, reading him like an open book. Not even Erwin read him as well as she did. He sighed soundlessly, breaking away from her eyes and lowered them to the ground.

"I know, it's just…disturbing." He turned his eyes at her movements as she came closer to him.

"You can't let it guilt you." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Regardless of how those humans turned into titans, they're not human anymore." He could tell it pained her to say it. "Evidently they can't turn back like Eren, or…the others, or else they would have. So don't blame yourself to much." She managed a soft, gentle smile as she stroked his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into her touch and giving the smallest nod of understanding. The soft exhale of breath told him she'd noted it and withdrew her hand from him. "What did you want to talk about?"

He opened his eyes again and watched me carefully for a moment before he took a hold of my hand and put an object in it. I looked down at it and my eyes widened at the small knife in my hand. I shook my head, opening my mouth in surprise.  
"What is this?" I asked, my eyes moving back to him.  
"A knife." I sighed, shacking my head again.

"For what?"  
"Protection." He stated with a matter of fact voice but a small hint of amusement playing in his eyes. I sighed again.

"Why do I need a knife for protection? And from what or who exactly?" I raised an eyebrow, watching him with confusion. He kept watching me, the amusement gone and instead consideration hinted in them.

"You never know." He answered at last and I sighed again, I shook my head as I moved my eyes down to the knife again.  
"I don't know how to…" The hold around my hand tightened slightly.  
"Don't even try." He cut me of and I looked up at him again. "I know who you're grandfather was. You can handle a knife." He leaned his head slightly to the side and held my eyes with a small glare. I turned away my own eyes from his intimidating stare.  
"I don't need it." I mumbled, trying to shove it back to him but the hold of my hand moved to my wrist and stopped the movement, at the same time pulling me closer. When I turned my face back to him our faces was close to each others, his eyes watching me with a soft and concerned gaze.

"Valerie." I blinked, surprised by the pleading in his voice. "It would ease my mind." I sighed, this only confirmed my early suspicions on something going on.  
"Fine." I whispered, my eyes moving down to the knife, small enough to hide in my boots but big and sharp enough to do some serious damage or even killed if aimed right. Worry started building up in my own body. Erwins words from just moments ago surface back to me as I watched the Levis token of concern in my hand. "But...you've got to promise me that you won't let me distract you from…what's happening from now on." I looked up at him again. There was something soft and hesitant in his eyes. "Whatever happens. Whatever you hear, or don't hear. Don't let it distract you, just…finish this and come back."

"I'll…try." His voice was low. Maybe Erwin was right after all. I leaned up, closing the small space between us and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It didn't take long for him to take charge; an arm around my waist pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. My free hand moved to the back of his head, entangling my finger in his dark hair. Abruptly he pulled away.

"I need to go." He leaned his forehead against mine. "I'll see you when this is over." I nodded slowly as he moved away; a hasty kiss was placed on my forehead before he moved away. I turned my head just to see him walk out of the door. The door closed and I turned my eyes back to the knife in my hand, a sigh escaping my lips. What was going to happen from now on?


End file.
